Basic Skill
by ReddoCreep
Summary: Slade might have Robin blackmailed into working for him, but he can't get him to kill anyone. That's no good for an assassin's apprentice. NOT SLASH.
1. Chapter 1

I own nothing, especially not Teen Titans. Hope you like this nonsense.

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The man was pacing between two windows, both lit, neither curtained. Stick a bull's eye on him and you'd have an ideal target.

_He'd thought of that himself._

Which was appropriate. Tonight was going to be his first kill.

Behind him Slade quietly unclipped a strap, and swung his bag off and down to the roof. "Robin. Concentrate. Is he there?"

Oh yeah, concentrate. Easy. Breathe. Count the windows. Check they were going to murder the right person. That he was going to murder the right person. "Yes sir. Ninth floor, third in from the left." Dick clenched his teeth and forced himself to turn around. "Dark hair, five foot three."

_For the Titans._

Slade was hunched over, unpacking the pieces of his gun, and without turning round he held up his hand, "The tripod."

Dick had carried that up himself, he unclipped it from his back, and held it out, a little awkwardly. Slade didn't take it.

"We have a schedule." He stood up and strode to the roof edge. Watching, Dick saw him stare down at the man in the room. Slade folded his arms. "See the bag on his desk? He just arrived. Right on time. You have to appreciate consistent timetables." He chuckled, and Dick grunted. Slade was enjoying this; whatever else he really seemed to like his work. "Assemble the gun."

Dick shivered and looked back at Slade, at the building behind him, and the city flat out after that. If he ran now he could jump and scale the side, make it to the street, he could be out of here and- Slade would kill the Titans. On the other hand, he could push Slade. One well-placed kick. Right now, one shove, over the edge. He itched to try- but he'd miss, he'd fail, and they'd pay.

Stomach tight and kneeling on the rooftop, Dick fitted the pieces together. They were going to kill that man. He'd gone past panicking by now to cold unavoidability, this was happening. Without thinking he snapped the telescopic sight on, almost breaking the clip.

"Good job." Slade was watching him. "Though remember the equipment's expensive. Try not to break it. Also, think about where you set up. Back here…" He crouched beside Dick, examining the line of sight, "you're more likely to graze him, but it'll mean aiming high. What does that mean?"

"I'd-"

"Speak up."

"I'd risk missing the brain. Putting him in a coma." Now he was feeling sick. Awful, head aching sick. He swallowed. For them. "Then we have to go after him again, it's difficult." He was going to throw up. Ending a life. "That's a messy job."

"That's right. And we don't get good reputations through messy jobs. Think things through next time. Before you make a mistake."

"Sorry."

"It's fine. We can fix it. But you won't always have the luxury of time."

He was at his worst were when he tried to act like a teacher.

Walking past, Slade easily picked up the gun, stand and all, and carried it to the roof edge, setting it straight. Dick followed.

The sight of it- the aim and the trigger and the bullets waiting inside- Dick started to shake, his hands first, till he clutched them into fists, when it spread up his bones and to his blood. He couldn't, he couldn't, couldn't do this.

"Slade-" the wind whipped up again, he raised his voice over it, "Slade- I-"

He stopped himself. Slade hadn't reacted; if he hadn't heard then did he really want him to?

_Do it. Don't think about it._

If it came to it, the guy down there had probably done something to deserve this.

_That's right, rationalise. _

The Titans were heroes. They were worth more. He knew them.

But-

"Slade- I can't."

This time he definitely heard, turning round and staring that blank one-eyed mask at him. He'd always thought the single eye hole was weird. Why give away a hint to his identity like that when he was so careful with everything else?

He tried to meet it. "I can't." There was a buzzing in the back of his head. Not quite painful.

Slade folded his arms. "You will. Now." There was a sudden, harder edge in his voice. When he was in a good mood (which Dick had seen mainly seen on other jobs- normally when he was killing someone or about to kill someone or had just killed someone) it was easy to forget how quickly he could go scary. Not that he had forgotten. He looked down and shuffled to the gun, still staying as far back as he could.

"Line up your sights."

Breathing slowly he lay behind the gun, staring as straight down the crosshairs as he could. But his hands were shaking too much, he couldn't focus. The back of his throat was dry, but he couldn't even swallow. He had to get away from here. Dick fell back, leaning on his hands, dizzy, "Slade, I'm going to pass out."

"You are going to do as you're told."

"I'm trying-"

"Remember what's at stake for you."

He hated him. He hated-

_Not just now._

Dick shut his eyes and nodded, this wasn't so bad. He'd seen Slade shoot people. Or stab them, poison them, choke them, _not _smash them (too dirty, Slade had said). How much worse would it be to pull the trigger himself? He pushed himself to calm down and lie back in, to put his eye back on the sight and shift his weight till he was comfortable.

He found the trigger. The man in the office was standing still now, talking into a phone, his free hand crossing his waist. What was he talking about- _no_. That was not a good idea. Stay away from thoughts like that.

Focus. Aim. The gun felt delicate, too light, not enough to be a weapon.

Dick swallowed and pulled the trigger.

And as he did- maybe the wind picked up, and maybe not- the gun moved in his hands and the bullet spun out at an angle, and where there should have been a dead man there was a live one behind a shattered pane of glass, staring out across the roof towards them, his phone still at his ear.

It didn't matter if he saw them or not. Most people can tell when someone's shooting at them. The man moved quickly and jumped out of sight behind the window ledge.

Pushing himself off the ground, Dick was shaking, "Slade I-"

"Pack up the gun." He was furious. Robin scuttled to do what he asked. "By now he'll have contacted the police. We can't do anything else tonight."

"I'm sorry-"

"Hurry up."

Slade watched the streets as Dick fumbled at the bag, zipping and unscrewing, keeping his head bowed. Whatever trouble he was in would triple if Slade saw him grinning, but he couldn't help it. He was suddenly, desperately happy.

For tonight, for now, he'd won.


	2. Chapter 2

Ok, so first, thanks everyone who reviewed the first part. Thaliag.2, Mellowtopian, Elvenstar Imrahil, Cold Cruel and Collected, DynamicDuo 911, Swallow Tale, you all said really nice things. And Hanna Sedai, thanks especially for tumblring it and for your advice. You are awesome people.

I wasn't really planning on writing any more of this, but because people liked it I sketched up a plan and I'll try to keep it going.

Because I've actually thought about it now it seemed like a good idea to do some research and actually look at what else is up here, and I've made a couple of decisions based on that. This is going to stick to Robin's perspective, not because I don't think the other characters are interesting, or that the stories with multiple perspectives don't rock, there just aren't many that do only have one viewpoint character. I'm really sorry- this isn't bashing other stuff in any way. Also, this is going to be a relatively short story. I don't think I could manage to write a 40 chapter epic, it would be a mess.

So this is going to be small and simple and I'll try to do it as well as I can.

That said, I kinda think this chapter sucks. Nothing really happens, I just needed to take it somewhere.

Also, I totally do not own the Teen Titans.

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They wouldn't risk going back to the main base that night. Too far with the police out. Dick had no idea how many flats, houses, garages and cellars Slade owned around the city, each ready for emergency use. (As he'd explained at the start of the apprenticeship"Keep moving. All the time. If you have to stay still, then do it where nobody can see you.")

This one was a basement car park, three rooms, hardly furnished, dank and dark and smelling of mould. He followed Slade inside, keeping his distance, keeping quiet.

_Not that that would help. Slade was furious. _

Once inside, he moved quickly across the room, head bowed, trying to keep tensed and focussed on Slade. What was he going to do?

But it was difficult.

He was, despite himself, stupidly, still happy. He wasn't a murderer. _He had to hold onto that. _Even now as he heard Slade close the door, clicking the key and locking him in, he had to remember that he'd missed, he'd won.

Slade took the unassembled pieces of gun from the bag, unpacking and arranging them carefully on the room's ugly wooden table. Dick didn't watch. The sight of that _thing_. He'd come so close to-

_But he hadn't._

Sighing, Slade unclipped his mask. ("You know you've been using my first name since we met. The Titans aren't really worth a secret identity.") "Explain what happened."

_They both knew what had happened. _

Putting down his own bag, Dick kept his head lowered, his eyes still off the gun, and muttered. "I don't know."

"We've spoken," now, as Dick watched, Slade was walking around the table, hands behind his back, "about you mumbling."

"I don't know. It missed."

"Well obviously." And he was next to him, hand clamped on Dick's shoulder, spinning him round to face the table, holding him there so he had to look at the gun. Not letting go, but not hurting him yet, Slade hissed. "What do you see there?"

"The gun-" Dick winced. He could break his arm.

_Or kill the Titans. Keep your priorities straight. _

"Well done. And what don't guns do?"

"What?-"

He pushed him closer to the table, to the gun, "Answer me."

"They shoot-"

"What _don't _guns do?"

What don't guns do? He tried to think, panicking, hating that he was desperate, but he had to say something, a trick question, obviously, but Slade wanted him to answer and he had to-

Only one way out. _Grovel. _"I don't know! I'm sorry!" It _hurt _to be pathetic in front of him.

He waited a moment, Dick holding his breath, gritting his teeth, then, snorting, let go. "Good guns don't miss." Slade looked at him, still stooped, clutching his shoulder. "This is a good gun. So either it's broken or something else went wrong. What do you think?"

Speaking slowly, trying to think as he did, Dick answered, "I did what you said. Maybe it is broken. " Not that that would work.

Slade smirked. "That's possible. Put it together and find the fault." He crossed his arms and narrowed his eye. "I'm waiting."

Dick looked at him, at the gun, back at Slade. They both knew that there was nothing wrong with it.

_He wanted to see what he'd do. _

It was a test. What did Slade want? Would he be happier if he told the truth, or annoyed that he'd not tried to lie? Did he just want to see him fail, get another reason to punish him?

_Stop planning. Do what he wants. One wrong move and the Titans-_

Dick stepped towards the gun, looked at it, closed his eyes, opened them, tried to remember how it fitted together, but the sight set his head aching, his throat blocked and-

He couldn't touch it, not again. Not when he could still feel the trigger under his fingers, still see the man in the cross hairs if he closed his eyes. His hands started to shake. Knowing that Slade would see, probably had seen, he pressed them to his sides.

"Well?"

Nothing else for it. He was too weak. "I missed."

Slade was silent, still, watching. _Why wouldn't he just get it over with?_ Finally, almost contemplatively, "Why did you miss?"

"It-" Why _had _he missed? He'd felt sick. He'd panicked. He'd been frightened. He hadn't thought about it, he'd aimed and fired. What could he say that Slade would believe? "It just happened."

"It just happened. That's not an answer. _Look at me._ That's better. Let's go through this. You were unable to shoot properly."

Dick nodded, stiffly, once.

"I didn't hear you."

"Sorry. Yes."

"You felt sick."

"Yes, I-"

"You panicked."

"Yes-"

"You were scared."

"Yes-"

"You didn't mean to miss."

"No-" And Dick stopped.

He _hadn't _meant to miss. He'd meant to- he started to sweat, feeling the same dizzy sickness rising as he had on the roof, he wanted to close his eyes but couldn't turn away from Slade- he'd missed by accident- he had _meant_ to kill the man-

He felt weak. After a moment Slade went on, smiling coolly, "I believe you. You missed by accident. You're forgiven. What do you say?"

"Thank you." Speaking cracked his throat.

"Good."

Dick didn't answer. Slowly Slade flexed his wrist and started to take off his gloves. "Those things you described, nausea, panic, revulsion. Those are physical subconscious reactions, Dick. They have nothing to do with what you believe. You, yourself, don't think there's anything wrong with my work."

Of course he did.

_But he hadn't meant to miss. _

In his same low, persistent, serious tone, Slade went on. "And responding like that isn't natural. I believe that you've been brainwashed."

Just like it was a normal thing to say. Dick stared at him, his fists clenching, panic burning to anger. _He could feel where this was going._

"Batman didn't brainwash me." It was Slade's certainty, the way he made statements and judgements and spoke as if he knew, "How dare you-"

"We're born with a survival instinct. Yours has been repressed." Almost absentmindedly, Slade started to fit the sniper rifle together. Snapping and clicking and never taking his eyes off Dick's face.

"Murder isn't-"

"Dick, people have been killing each other for years. It's human."

"That's-"

"You've already shown that you'd do it if you were capable, but _something_ stopped you."

"You were making me! The Titans-"

"When your parents died you went after the man who killed them. Tony Zucco."

He didn't even care how Slade had found that out. "Yes, but-"

"You wanted to kill him. Actually, if it wasn't for Batman, you might have done. Explain to me how Batman using force to stop you then is any different from me using force to make you now."

"It's murder!"

Slade put down the gun and leaned across the table "Stop shouting."

There was no point in getting angry. _Breathe. _He pushed his shoulders back, made himself meet Slade's eye. "I'm sorry."

"Good." He went back to work, "Since you didn't answer the difference between me and Batman is that I'm undoing the damage he did."

Muttering just over under-his-breath Dick replied lowly, "You're not doing anything."

"So you say." Slade finished the gun and held it evenly across his hands, weighing it, peering into the sight, checking the corners. "I wonder though-" smiling he aimed it at Dick, who shrugged and stared at the floor, "if you had another chance," he put the gun down again, "what you'd do to Zucco now."


	3. Chapter 3

Okay, so it's late but it's here. And it sucks, I had VERY little time this week, and if I could I wouldn't put this up yet, but after people being so nice I need to deliver content. I'm sorry.

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Slade didn't approve of sleeping. Late nights, early mornings. He thought it was a waste of time.

And after- how long? A month? _Lost count already, well done_- his patterns had sunk in, and Dick snapped awake at four and pushed himself out of bed a few second later. No point in lying in.

He had the smaller room, with Slade not-sleeping at the table in the main one. No lock on his door, because they both knew he wouldn't run.

"Slade?" Dick knocked, waited and went through. The room- still dark but with a little grimy street lamp light getting in through a tiny high window- was empty.

Slade would vanish sometimes, come back, no mention of what he'd done. Probably best not to know.

Maybe Slade had gone early morning bird watching. Orienteering. Out to see the sunrise. Dick snickered. Freedom through humour.

What right had he had to mention Zucco?-

No. _You don't think about what he says._

His first rule to surviving the apprenticeship.

The basement was silent, but somewhere above a there were passing cars and loud voices. Early morning city sounds.

_Block them out. _

His back hurt, obviously. After a night on a hard mattress in a cold room you didn't wake up feeling good. Still, he made himself exercise and stretch, fifty push ups, sixty sit ups, his Slade-imposed morning routine.

He'd know if he didn't. Slade the mind reading creeping lurking murdering psychopathic-

_What right had he had to mention Zucco?_

There had to be some rules to this. Some things had to be off limits, and Zucco was personal. And he hadn't killed him, it wasn't even relevant. He wouldn't have. Not even if Batman hadn't been there.

Though-

_Don't think about it._

Mind games only work if you play. He had to shut him out.

Once he'd finished exercising the light was a little brighter, and the sounds had become more human. Idly he wondered what sort of building this was. Probably apartments. Though, this was still the business sector of the city, wasn't it? _Why hadn't he paid attention on the way back?_

Didn't matter anyway.

Bored, he got up and wandered round the room. Five strides long, four wide. Plus the three strides length of his room, that made the building about five metres long on the inside, though he had no way of knowing how thick the walls would be. Still. If the other floors were similar it would probably be an apartment block. Offices were longer. The only other way to know would be look out the window, but it was too high unless he stood on the table, and if Slade came back and found him moving stuff-

Anyway, he hadn't been planning an escape, thinking about things just made him feel better, even if there was nothing he could do with the information.

The door opened- creaking- behind him. Dick made his face impassive, turned to the door and kept his head low.

"Good morning." Said Slade pleasantly.

"Morning." He didn't ask where he'd been. _Stay unattached. _

He was carrying a shoulder bag, and put it down on the table, smiling. "You'd probably like to know, the problem from last night's sorted out."

Slade had killed the man, gone back and-

"Don't overreact."

He'd gone numb again, the same rising shaking feeling. He stared at Slade. "You killed him."

"I'm a professional." He smirked.

"But-"How could he? Though- why wouldn't he? Dick had known this was coming, he knew Slade killed people for money, but after everything the night before, "But-"

Slade cut him off. "No Dick, of course I didn't kill him. He's under as much protection as he can afford. Honestly. Think rationally." He shook his head, smiling benevolently, and unzipped the bag. Dick sagged. Mind games. Always mind games, though- he realised coldly- not that it made much difference. In the end, Slade was going to kill the man.

"This morning I spoke to our client, I explained what happened. More or less, I didn't mention panic attacks. I've guarded our reputations as well as I can. I wired back the pre-paid money. Things are as good as they could be. Given the circumstances."

'Our'._ Just shut up and cope with it. _"I'm sorry. I know-" He was apologising to him without even being asked. How had he-

"Dick." he cut across him, doing his smug, kind hearted thing, "Calm down, I've already told you that you're forgiven." Slade put a flask on the table, "Have some breakfast. Then we're going."

"Where?"

Before he thought about it. That was a mistake. He'd been caught off guard.

_Don't engage with him, don't ask him about his plans. _Any break in his defences, anything, and Slade would find a way in.

"Home." Slade's expression didn't change.

That was it, he was baiting him, he wanted an argument, interaction.

So Dick gritted his teeth and nodded and ate without speaking.

They headed back just as the sun was rising. A few cars passed them, a few early risers in business suits.

_Just grab one of them. Tell them that you're being held hostage. _

And the Titans would die. Even if he couldn't see it, Slade would have the remote. One step wrong.

_If you're ever going to get out of this, you're going to have to stop him permanently. _

It had crept into his head, a treacherous thought, Slade getting to him, dismiss it.

But-

Still, it was good to be outside in the daytime, even if was a murky, cold kind of morning.

Till, suddenly Slade interrupted, "I think I might have been unfair last night."

They were waiting to cross a road. He hunched over, not looking at him. _Where was Slade going with this? _

"Mentioning Zucco. It must be a difficult subject for you."

Should he agree? No, no, that was a bad move. Keeping his voice level, Dick muttered. "It's fine."

"What was that?"

"It's fine."

"Still. Just the thought of him must make you angry."

"It's fine."

"Is it?" He was speaking very, very quietly, and Dick could feel that he staring at him. "Don't lie to me. If you didn't care about him you wouldn't be so angry about it just now."

"I'm not." Tense muscles, arms crossed, using all his self-control and still on the edge of doing something stupid.

Slade smiled. "It's not natural to repress your feelings. You should be more open. It's healthy."

The lights changed and they went on, till Slade stopped and pointed up. "Look over there. That's the building from last night."

Dick went cold. Up there, that roof, he'd-

But he hadn't-

But he would have.

"It was an ideal location. Explain why."

Back to educating then. Think about it. Carefully. "The angle. We were above him." Slade was stil waiting. _Just say it. _There wasn't any point in pretending. "And the other buildings here are taller, they'd stop the wind from blowing it off too much."

"Well done. Assassination is really just applied science." Walking on, Slade remarked, "You know, that man was a crime lord. He'd been selling 'protection' to local businesses, not a big deal yet but often they're more willing to act when there's less to risk. He killed a family last week. Well, he paid for it."

This was cruel. Another reference to Zucco. It was probably a lie. Of course it was. But still-

"You're thinking that I'm lying." Slade shook his head, "You're so untrusting, Batman's influence, again. Dick, believe me, I'm not."

That was finally too much, he stopped, looked up at Slade, hands clenched, "You're a murderer! How can I believe anything you-" People were staring, Dick controlled himself and hissed, "You might have killed that family. You probably-"

"Listen to me." He was leaning down, whispering, and furious, for a moment Dick couldn't breathe. _He'd gone too far. He'd killed them._

"Please, I'm sorry-"

"I would _never _harm a child."

Which stunned him. He'd expected a threat, a warning.

Slade straightened his back, "Your friends aren't children. Remember that. Come along."

And he started off down the street again, arms folded behind his back.

It took a moment for Dick to start thinking again, once he could move he dashed after Slade. For a while they were both silent, awkwardly walking in step. Finally, Slade sighed and glanced down at him. "I think you deserve a break from testing your moral compass. Tonight, you're doing a robbery."


	4. Chapter 4

OKAY. so I have had a bad, bad, bad week. I am sorry for this late update (I'm going to stop apologising for them being small because I have a feeling that that will continue. But Sorry.)

My next apology is to everyone who commented last time. Guys, I was in a hurry and couldn't thank you. So I'll do it now- Hanna Sedai, SmileyFace, Thaliag.2, In the dark. Follow the Son, Swallow Tale, Mellowtopian, Elvenstar Imrahil, you guys rock!

And my last apology- this is a rubbish chapter. Seriously. It's a mess. I'd skip it. It will burn your eyes.

Also, I know nothing about science. If I make a mistake, tell me, and you'll be thanked for increasing my general knowledge.

I totally don't own the teen titans.

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Creeping he knew. Keep to the shadows, keep low, keep looking and watching and checking round corners. Creeping made Dick feel better. One of the bad things about being a Titan; they didn't creep. No need to when you had superpowers, just crash in through the roof, start blasting in heads- _stop thinking about killing. _And he understood that, it wasn't like he resented them not needing to be sneaky, but he missed it anyway. Now, on a roof, above a dark city, he felt at home.

Till the speaker in his ear buzzed.

"The camera on the roof across from you is turned on."

_So why hadn't he turned it off? _Slade could do what he wanted with Jump's security, he'd made that clear already.

Because this was a test. Like everything. Dodge the camera. Slade school.

Before this, back in his base, he'd made him study the blueprints, pacing with his hands behind his back. "You're going to have to be able to read them yourself. I'm surprised you can't."

Dick had smirked into the table. Of course he could read blueprints. But there was no reason to mention that to Slade. _Never tell him anything, especially something he'd like to hear._

"This branch of S.T.A.R. labs holds some of the most advanced Nano-technology on the planet. Jump isn't an important city." He paused. _A dig at the Titans. Ignore it. _"Explain why it's here rather than Metropolis."

He knew that already. Cyborg had- _Don't._ "It's the right atmosphere. Not too damp."

"Right." Stopping, Slade looked at him, and Dick, sensing it, kept himself focussed. _He's about to mess with you._

"What is it you want me to get?"

"Good attitude."

_Get it over with. _"Thanks." He had to be practical. Slade liked him being polite. He liked not making Slade angry.

Though he still didn't enjoy the taste it left in his mouth.

"But-" Slade continued, "the wrong question. I'm not going to tell you to get anything. You're going to pick something to steal."

"What?"

"Be sensible, Dick. If you're going to develop any sort of eye for this business you're going to have to learn to use your head."

Dick closed his mouth.

Everything with Slade was about pushing him, inch by inch, into being something horrible. Something like Slade.

_You're being melodramatic. _

He wasn't though, not really.

Stealing wasn't murder. Compared to the other things Slade did, it was almost charity work. But still, it was wrong. Dick hated it. And planning a crime. Plotting. _Scheming. _Bad guy stuff. He'd found a way, when he was following Slade's orders, of turning himself robotic. Gritting his teeth, biting his tongue and making himself do what he needed to get what he wanted. He couldn't do that with a plan he'd made himself.

Slade was forcing – _coercing- _him in to thinking like a villain.

And knowing that made no difference at all.

"Okay." Dick swallowed, clenched his hands, straightened his shoulders. He could cut off his body when he had to, he'd just have to do the same with his mind. It wouldn't be hard. He already had a secret identity. How different could this be? "What's in there?"

Now, on the roof across from S.T.A.R. labs, Dick stopped and squatted with his back against an air vent. He tapped the mic in his collar. "Where is it?"

"Look for it."

Well, no help from him. Fine then.

_He was probably smiling just now. _That grin-sneer that as good as said 'I'm an evil mastermind', the one he kept for his especially manipulative moments.

Dick snorted. Was he getting to know Slade?

_Obviously._

No. He wasn't.

_You're already thinking like him._

He wasn't. How long had it been? _Who knows? Years. _No. Not that long. But enough time that if he was going to go evil, it would have happened. _How would you know? _It would have started to happen. He still hardly knew Slade at all- he still couldn't even tell when he was lying, that was something.

Yes- there was that. Dick felt a little lighter, let himself smile (grimly though). They couldn't be that similar if he still didn't know if Slade had been serious when he'd said that man had killed-

_Great. _He was thinking in circles. Terrible, soul crushing, mind bending circles.

"What's holding you up?"

He almost- not quite- jumped. "I'm looking. I can't see it." And then suddenly, there it was- a red glint on the opposite roof. Aimed just along from him, and too high to spot him crouching down, but if he stood, if he jumped, they'd get him.

"Can you see it now?"

"Yes."

"So move." He wasn't annoyed, just impatient. He was always impatient. (And that seemed unfair- it wasn't like Slade was bad at waiting, just waiting for him. They'd already spent two nights standing still in the rain so Slade could get the 'perfect shot').

_Stop that thinking. Switch your head off. _The camera. He couldn't damage it- not from across the roof. _So go under the line of sight. _Risky, but really his only option. Dick dropped onto his stomach, started inching forward, another two metres and there was an air vent. THE air vent that would get him in.

Elbows, stomach, knees. It was lucky the apprentice outfit had thick armour; rough rooftops like this would have shredded his old Robin tunic-

_Shut up. _

Here it was. The air vent. A flat, grated, sky light style one. Perfect for dropping in. You never knew where those turret things would get you. Still lying down, he felt the edges. No screws. _They do their maintenance from inside, what did you expect? _So his choices were explosives or cutting. He couldn't blow it up, not with cameras around. Cutting would make sparks, but according to the blueprints there wasn't any wiring to worry about.

Okay, so a knife. Grasping at his belt (trying not to even hunch his shoulders) he found the serrated metal cutter's handle, and gradually, carefully, inched it free.

_Slowly. One cut forward, one cut back. _It rasped on the grate, sandpaper in his ears. Surely someone would hear- _who? _Keep going.

And it was working. Dick bit his teeth together, grinning, it was going well- the knife was raking into the metal, squeaking all the way but another two cuts and-

The grate dropped-

He caught it.

_You almost didn't. Be more careful. You can't afford to not concentrate. _

Still- _NOT STILL. You were almost caught. Think about the Titans. _

They didn't even know what he was doing. It was almost funny. Dick snorted. He'd never thought of it like that before. When he'd got back, when he explained this to them, they were going to-

_Stop messing around. _

Yes. Be practical. Dick shoved the grate back from the vent, and edged himself forward again. Now he could see inside, though you couldn't learn anything from a metal plated tunnel.

It's flimsy. He'd kick through it, land in the corridor below, and then-

Stealing.

_You have to. _He did. He swallowed, stretched his arms to either side of the vent. _You can't put it off any longer. _" Slade. I'm about to go into the building."

There was a pause down the line. Then, "I've checked the inside cameras. You're fine. Go."


	5. Chapter 5

IN THE TRADITION OF CRAPPY UPDATES

totes don't own the titans.

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He landed neatly; crouched, silent, ready to move. Ahead and behind the corridor stretched darkly, quiet, empty. Definitely empty. Dick stood up, stretched his legs (always make sure you're working after a jump) and started slowly going right.

"How does it look in there?"

Dick smirked, feeling calm and a little happy. He had the upper hand, Slade hated being out of control.

"Oh, awful. Guards everywhere."

"Keep focused."

The speaker cut out. _He's in a huff. _Hilarious.

Though Slade was right. Jump security might have been a joke but, the stuff here was important. If there are any competent guards in this city, they'd be here_. _The Titans were even on their auto-alarm system.

Dick shuddered. Another reason to be serious. He didn't want them coming.

_You just thought that Slade was right. _

Dick stopped. It didn't count! How was he going to stay sane if he wasn't allowed to think without censoring himself? It was too much-

Any hole in your head, anything he can use.

But he had been right- he needed to be focussed- he needed to do what he came here to do – _steal, you're going to have to use the word sometime- _and get out.

And Slade would never, ever be right where it counted.

Though- Dick reached a corner and checked both ways, the stairs were to the left, the passage empty- what did that mean? Vigilantism wasn't exactly legal. So was he already a criminal? And a broken law was a broken law-

_Stop it._

He headed down the stairs, lit by a low, silent electric light. It felt like a hospital- smelt like one too. The computers had to stay clean, again, something Cyborg had-

_Don't. _

Slade got to him. That was the problem, even when he wasn't here there was a voice, a sharp bitter thing in his head that pushed him and dug itself in.

"You're doing well."

Complimenting him. That was nice. Dick snorted and didn't answer.

He'd decided that Slade letting him choose what to steal had been a good thing. An opportunity to get him something useless. He'd chosen a prototype mobile phone- just about the only thing S.T.A.R. made that didn't have laser guided missiles.

"Interesting choice." Slade had smirked, made Dick shrink down into his chair to avoid his eye. "Commercial."

Though they both knew what he was doing.

What was that?

Something had clicked in the wall next to him. Definitely. A mouse? A rat? No way, not ten flights up, not with six inches of cement and steel to burrow through.

Slade must have heard him go quiet, because then, "Robin. Is something wrong?"

No more sound, maybe he'd imagined it.

He hadn't. Had he? _Your mind is playing tricks on you. You're going crazy. _

"Robin?"

"What?"

"Has something happened?" Something in Slade's voice- was he concerned?

No. Don't be stupid.

Of course not.

_Never imagine that he's human. _

Getting into his head. Dick smirked- not this time- and listened for any more clicks, nothing happened. "I- I don't think so."

"Be more concise." Slade sighed and went on, slowly. "'No' would have done. Don't waste time talking."

_Easy for him to say. _

He started again, glancing behind himself at the next stairwell corner. Maybe he had imagined it.

Another floor down, he was heading for the fourth. There wouldn't be any guards above the fifth right now. But stairwells echoed. Two more to go. Dick stopped on the sixth landing, checked below, nothing, kept going.

Checking the fourth floor through the window, Dick clicked on his night vision. Nothing. He slipped through, creeping, shoulders hunched and low, door clapping shut after him. Right. Five doors and-

Another click. Right behind him, right from the door. Unmistakeable. He spun, jumped, tugged the handle-

It wouldn't open

"Robin? What's happened?"

_How did he know?- _His breathing, obviously, "I don't know, there must have been an alarm, the door's locked-"

"Don't panic."

"I'm not!" _You are._ The police would already-_ Stop it. _Breathe. "I'm not."

"Good. Now, are you going to keep going?"

That was surprising- Slade must have meant it when he'd said Dick was making decisions this time. Though he wanted him to, Slade didn't believe in giving up.

_It's a way out. You wouldn't have to steal. _But that would make Slade angry. And the Titans-

"Yes." Not bothering to be quiet, he sprinted to the fifth door, blew it off its hinges with a couple of thermal blasts- _Slade would like that, using his stuff. _

He wasn't going to think about it. Dick scanned the room, glass cases, all locked, one to the side with a fingerprint scanner. Had to be it. Run, blast, grab the box inside (lucky the apprentice suit had pouches).

"I've got it."

"Good work." Slade was speaking a little too quickly. He's worried. _He's not worried._

"How can I get out?"

"You studied the blueprints Robin. You tell me."

Or you could just look- no, it made sense. You keep someone from panicking by making them think. Batman did it too. Stop supporting Slade.

Dick ignored himself (which sounded ridiculous even in his head). If listening to Slade was smart then he would.

"Okay." Think. There weren't any windows inside the corridors, none without reinforced glass inside the rooms, the outside walls were flat on the outside, and there weren't any buildings to grapple or swing to anyway. So that means- "I'm going through the ventilation. I can get up a floor then back into the fire escape."

Quiet down the line, then, "Good plan."

Dick didn't reply, instead finding a grate in the vents, crouching, jumping, twisting, pushing it off and pulling himself in. Enough room to get along, same as the top floor one. Perfect.

Find a way up. It had to bend at the room's corners, right? _Should have thought that through. _Better late than-

Someone, running nearby. More than one. Coming fast-

He started moving, scuttling, what would happen if he was caught? Would Slade- no- if it wasn't his fault he couldn't-

_He'll kill them._

So he couldn't be caught.

"What's happening?"

Bad time to talk. "Someone's coming."

"Can you get out?"

"Yes I-"

Behind him, the air vent exploded.


	6. Chapter 6

GUYS. Okay. So I have been messing you around with the speed of these updates, I'm trying to keep them regular to every like week-plus-a-day (every eight days is a better way of putting it), but that is tricky. Just so you know.

Also, reviewers- FiresCreek, FTG, Dreams2Paper11 , SladeRavenFan, Thaliag.2, Swallow Tale, SmileyFace, The Feirce Deity, and Hanna Sedai (who continues to give awesome advice, these chapters need to get longer and I'll try but I cannot commit to it cos I suck)- all of you guys, you supporting me is keeping this going. So when it sucks it's your fault (haha responsibility avoided).

Honestly though, I'm glad that people are enjoying it enough to review. It's great of you.

Totes don't own the Titans.

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A green explosion, bright enough to blind him, strong enough to throw him out of the air vent. Of course he knew who it was.

"Robin."

Starfire, floating a little above him, eyes shining, hand outstretched. The sight made him feel sick- she looked so _sad._

_She's as ready to blast you as help you up. _He hunched his shoulders, kept his eyes off hers. She noticed.

"Robin- don't-"

But he was already on his feet, jumping backwards, flipping into what was left of the air vent and dragging himself up the slant.

_She's your best friend. _

Not now.

_And you're running from her. _

He'd been through this. Nothing he could do about it. Think practically.

_You're hurt. _

He- He hadn't even realised. Every move, something was pushing at his side, something stuck in-

"Robin- I do not wish to shoot at you again!" echoing after him, high and fast, trembling, she was panicked. Starfire was dangerous scared. _Hurry. _

There was the up bend in the vent. Reaching it, Dick crouched- needles from his injury burning- gritted his teeth, pushed his feet down and himself up. Jumped, just high enough to grasp the ledge above and grapple his way inside.

"Robin!" but her voice was growing fainter, and she was rubbish in confined spaces. Wouldn't risk following him. _She'll dig through, blast up. _But that would take time.

Crackling in his ear mic, then over it, "Dick? What happened?" Great. The speaker was damaged. If it shut down, if he stopped talking, would Slade think he'd defected?- _you're thinking like you're on his side-_

"Starfire's here. The rest too-" he jerked in his crawling, caught his side, grunted but bit his tongue before he yelped, "-I think."

"Are you okay?"

"Yes- think so, she shot at me, didn't hit but-"

"Get out of there."

_Obviously. _

How many floors down was he? Couldn't remember. _Can't think_.

And from below, distant, familiar blasting.

"How are you doing?"

Through clenched teeth- _how did Slade think he was?- _"Great."

"Where's your injury?"

He needed to think, Slade was interrupting. "Can we leave it just now?"

"Don't be childish. You need your wits. Talking keeps you awake."

"My-" the vent shifted, metal screaming, and collapsed, throwing Dick out the end- no time to move- smacking him against the ground, he cracked and coughed, _couldn't breathe._

_You're panicking. _

Okay, okay. Mind over matter, brain over nerves.

But it _hurt, _even over years of being thrown around Gotham, it hurt.

"Robin? Dick?"

The mic was still working then.

He shifted, more aches springing up at his joints, muscles, all over. Where? _Be specific, focus. _Okay. Okay. His side. His chest. His ribs and lungs. Hurt to breathe. _You're winded. That's all. _

"Dick?"

"Sla-" but speaking dragged in his throat and he couldn't even finish the word.

"Dick." Slightly more slowly, a little relieved, "You've fallen onto your front. Sounds like there might be a broken rib or two. Nothing to worry about. Block them out and get up to the roof."

"Ca-can't-"

"Dick." Slade's voice calm, heavy, loud. "You're going to be fine. Now bite your tongue. Get up. It's easy."

He wasn't going to take advice from-

Forget that you hate him. It doesn't matter right now. This is for the Titans.

And inching his way he pulled his chest up, bent his back, got onto his knees, then legs, hands grasping along the wall, back to the stairs.

_No way you're going to get back up to the top like this. _

He had to.

At least he'd been right about the security lock not working on every landing. He was getting used to moving too, managed to open the door with one hand, edging himself through and into the dark stair block. With the door closed, even Star's explosions didn't feel as close.

_You're a long way from safe. _

But he let himself stand against the banister to catch his breath. No point in having a heart attack.

And giving himself a break loosened up his lungs too, Dick managed a long breath and started to feel a bit better.

Self obsessed child. You're breaking Star's heart. You're serving your enemy, and you're feeling better?

Dick closed his eyes, clenched his fists round the railing. Comparatively he felt better, then. He couldn't help it.

"Robin?" Every time he got close to feeling normal, Slade ruined it. Dick sighed.

"I'm alright. Just-"

"You're still inside. Get moving."

He felt every stair, first in his legs, then where the starbolt had caught his side. _Speaking of her, where are the others? _

He hadn't thought of that. They- _not you- _the Titans were a team. Star especially would never act alone. _Unless something had changed her. Hurt her so much-_

But she was strong. It would take more-

Then where are they?

He'd climbed another few floors when the door he'd come in through crashed off its hinges and clashed down the stairs below.

"Robin!" Starfire's voice.

This was it. She could fly. She'd be up here in five seconds.

"Robin, who's there?" The mic was crackling again, but he could hear him well enough. "Talk to me."

He couldn't answer. She'd hear.

"Dick?"

He couldn't stay quiet. Slade was waiting.

"Star! Any sign of him?"

Cyborg. _At least she's not here alone. _

"I do not know- he went into the ventilation."

"Great. So he could be anywhere."

Dick stepped back against the wall. Beast Boy too. Raven would be somewhere close by. _She's almost as sneaky as Batman. She's the one you should be afraid of. _

No. He wasn't going to get scared. No good for anyone. He needed a distraction.

Thankfully- Dick smirked- he had a utility belt full of explosives. He didn't even have to throw it, just lean a little to the stairwell and open his hand. The S-branded bomb dropped, Dick waited, not breathing, if they saw it falling past them, if they didn't take the bait, if they realised what he was doing-

But ten seconds later-

The explosion wasn't loud; Slade didn't build them for unnecessary noise. But in a tight stairwell with blank cement walls and metal lining, anything would attract attention.

"What was that?"

"Came from the bottom floor-"

"You think he's made himself an exit?"

"Let's check it out."

Dick closed his eyes and listened to his friends run. _You won. Be happy. _

"Dick? _Talk to me." _

Oh. Yeah. "Slade. It's fine-" Dick winced as he started towards the landing door, "just distracting-" he tightened his grip on the wall, "the Titans."

"Good boy. Get out of there."

"Getting to it."

He managed, pushing all of his weight down on the handle, to open the door, slipping through and pulling it shut. Another dark corridor, if he could just get to the next flight of stairs along-

"Hands up!"

From behind him. A voice he didn't know, shaking. _Haven't heard fear like that since you stopped hanging with Batman. _Dick started to turn, "Don't move!", but got far enough to see a guard, a normal guard, pointing his gun straight at him.


	7. Chapter 7

__Okay, I'm just going to thank commenters by name every two chapters, when I'll thank everyone who's commented on the last two-realised I'd been doing it anyway, may as well keep it up. BUT that does not mean I do not thank you with my soul. I do.

GUESS WHO STILL CAN'T WRITE THE TITANS.

totes don't own the Titans.

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_You're hurt, you're trapped. All the training in the world can't stop a bullet. _

And there was no way out. Nothing he could do. Nothing Slade could do.

It was such a relief.

What good would come from hurting the Titans now? Slade would have to see that.

_Or he'd kill them. _

But either way, he was helpless. That was funny.

_You're becoming disconnected. You can't forget-_

"Hands up!"

Dick smiled and felt his knees start to give. _This was it._ Pretty brave for a security guard to face a masked thief. He might be a super-villain. _At least you're being taken down by somebody with dedication to their job. _

"Robin!" Slade mic, crackling.

"I've been caught." He wasn't bothering to be quiet, who cared if the guard heard? He'd have to explain sooner or later.

This is stupid. Pathetic. Wake up- the Titans are going to die if you don't-

But he couldn't. He'd taken as much as he could, reached the wall of apathy and there was nothing else left.

"By who?" Surprise in his voice, not concern. Slade's act had as many holes as his did.

Behind him, Dick could hear the man trembling. "Who are you talking to? I'm warning you!"

Crossed wires. Perfect. "A guard. He has a gun. Nothing I can do." he looked over his shoulder. "Sorry. Two conversations going on here."

"Dick. Listen to me." Slade was coaxing again, getting into his paternal mode. "You can get out of this."

_But you won't. You're too weak._

"I'm hurt Slade. I'm stuck. I can hardly move." Did he sound convincing? _Ought to, since it's true. _ "I don't know if I could _walk_ out of here."

"Stop talking!"

Back over his shoulder, "I'm _sorry. _Give me a second."

"I hate to remind you, Robin, but the Titans-"

"But I can't do anything Slade. Nothing-"

"I will NOT put up with this attitude, boy." And there he was, the criminal, the assassin, not pretending anymore. And Dick was terrified of him again.

_Refreshing._

"If you CONTINUE to act like a child, then I'll respond accordingly." He lowered his voice, growling just above the mic's crackles, "With punishment."

He'd have his fingers poised over the trigger, they would die whenever he wanted, and Dick was complaining, not fighting, not doing anything and he could, he _could-_

_That did it. _

He ducked, heard the gun go off- _felt it miss him-_ pushed his feet down, flipped, turned, landed- there was the guard, kick out his legs, catch his arm- _twist it- _drop him, stomp down on his head-

And finished.

Trembling, aches running up and down his legs and arms and neck, Dick staggered back to the wall. Over painful coughs - could you bruise your lungs?- he _hissed_, "Done."

Slade sighed down the mic line. _He sounded relieved. _Of course he did, he'd won. "Good boy. Now. Get out of there."

Once again, excellent advice. Dick didn't look at the guard. He was breathing. He was fine. Probably get a bonus. Maybe a TV interview.

_All it took was a concussion. _

Hurting villains was fine- it was good, even. _So long as you don't take it too far. _But there was a good (or not bad) man he'd beaten-

_Not getting into this. _

No. It was hard enough to pull himself down the corridor, he didn't need moral distractions-

Since when was morality a distraction?

"By the way. That was resourceful."

"What?" speaking was sore. _So don't do it. _

"How you coped with the Titans. I just hacked the security feed. And that guard. It was ruthless. I was impressed. Given the right circumstances, you're capable of anything."

_Said like it was a compliment. _

Dick replied with a grunt. He was not talking to Slade just now. Reaching the next stairwell, he forced down the handle, swung it back and hobbled inside-

"Azarath Metrion Zinthos!"

As quiet as Batman, till she started casting spells.

And he wasn't fast enough- once you heard her, she was there, and round his throat was her cold, magic grasp thing.

His feet kicked, couldn't touch the ground-

"Dick, what's happening?"

"Ra-" too tight for words. _What do you do against Raven? Think- _

One good thing Slade had taught him- how to cut through panic and your mind working.

_What you do in any choke hold, tuck in and strike out. _

He pulled in his chin, bent his knees tucked in his elbows, turned himself to the wall and _kicked- _

Cracking out of her grip, backwards, thumping into something- _Raven- _soft that fell with him and broke his fall.

_It would have been better if his head hadn't taken the impact._

"Rob- t-"

Dick sat up, blearily, Raven wasn't moving. Must have hit the ground pretty hard.

_Well done knocking out all the good guys. _

"D- k- at- k"

Crackling in his ear. Must have finally broken the mic.

_And his head. _

Swimming vision. Felt unbalanced sitting down. Dick swallowed and stood up, swaying, nauseous, found the wall. _Keep going, get to the stairs. _

"Can you- w- k-"

"Slade- I" every word was difficult, "Raven- I'm- coming- the mic broke-"

"Do- ke-"

He closed his eyes, pushed himself. Ignored Slade. Wasn't like he was missing out on much conversation anyway.

_You knocked Raven out. _

He had to.

_Your teammate. She could be hurt-_

Not as bad as Slade triggering the probes.

And here was the handle again. Right back where he was. And this time-

Something hairy- something green- pounced through the door, he had a second to move, _jumped,_ fell hard on his knees.

_Beast Boy. _

And that meant-

"Titans! Get him!"

Dick twisted, kicked, hit something- someone- rolled, a blast hit his back and sent him sprawling down the corridor, slammed him over, rolled him against a wall.

He couldn't think, he heard, through the grating and ringing in his head, the Titans coming.

"Raven!"

"Has he hurt her?"

"She's just unconscious- is that another one-"

"DICK!" Slade, maybe shouting had brought the mic back to life, "Dick- FIGHT THEM OR-" and it was gone again, back to static.

But his threat stayed. _For the Titans. _Forcing his shoulders straight, shaking every inch of the way, almost-

"Just STAY. DOWN." Cyborg, crunching his hand on Dick's back, flattening him on the floor. "Man. Stop it!"

He couldn't get up, he couldn't push a block of metal off his back, he couldn't.

Slade would-

One thing he could do.

_Grovel. _

"Slade! If you can hear me- I'm trying, don't do it! I can't move, it's not my fault, Slade-" he felt Cyborg flinch, not enough for him to move, _he must think you're mad. _

Beast boy, nervously, from behind him, "Slade's here?"

"Robin-" he could see Starfire, crouching, he shut his eyes. _Don't look at her. Keep screaming._

"I'm not betraying you! I can't get free! It's not my-"

"This is messed up."

"Let me in-" Raven, _she's okay then. _

"Do not hurt him!"

Raven snorted, "It's not as if he doesn't deserve it-"

"Raven."

"I don't harm my friends-"

Her hand on his head, "Slade I'm not!-" then flat, black darkness.


	8. Chapter 8

LOLOLOLOL IT'S AN UPDATE OMG YOU GUYS. So sorry about this taking all the time in the earth. I'll add thanks for reviews later, but now I sleeeeeep.

Totes don't own the Titans.

And lit back up.

Bright, familiar light. The Tower. Specifically, the ceiling. Raven standing above him, hand raised. Must have just woken him up. The others a little way behind. All of them nervous. Didn't know what he was going to do. Didn't trust him.

_They were still alive. _

He hadn't even realised that he was worried, it had been too fast, but they were fine, it could be-

Don't distract yourself. Be practical. Why are they still alive? No, be more practical- you have to escape- how are you getting out of here? Your hands are tied down. Ankles too. Probably your waist. Don't bother struggling-

What was he thinking? Escape? Run back to Slade? They were his friends, and he wouldn't jump into doing anything without considering it first.

_That includes talking to them._

They were waiting for him to speak, standing staring. Dick looked away.

_Slade still had all the power, it was just positioned differently. But he'd be watching- you know he has access to the camera feeds. _

"Robin?" Starfire, stepping forward, leaning over.

"Dude, are you okay?"

_And he's chosen not to kill them. _

"Sorry about the knocking out thing." Beast Boy scratched his head, and Dick didn't answer. "You going to…you know… say anything?"

_But he could. _

"Robin? What is wrong?"

_Any second. _

"We're talking to you. Hello?"

_This is a test. He's watching to see what you'll do. _

"You didn't like, scramble his brains did you?" Raven scowled at Beast Boy, "I was kidding!"

_You can't risk anything that might make him angry. You can't risk talking to them. _

Dick closed his eyes. This was bad.

He heard Raven speaking, "There was nothing wrong with him. Nothing mental, anyway."

"Nothing mechanical either." Cyborg's voice was slow, quiet, something resigned in his tone.

"So he is normal?"

A pause, all of them probably looking at him, making sure they didn't have a body double, an evil semi-clone. Checking for anything they didn't recognise.

Finally, quietly, Raven muttered, "There's nothing normal about this."

Which set Starfire off. "Robin, please tell us what is wrong! If we have done anything-"

"We haven't, Star. It's him. He's not going to say anything." And now he was angry, "Looks like the only one he wants to talk to is his boss."

"Cyborg-"

"It's been weeks! We finally get him back here and he's still not talking? Doesn't seem exactly-"

"Dude, it's Robin. We kinda should trust him-"

"He is our friend!"

"He's right here."

"I can see that." Cyborg clenched his hand- Dick knew that finger-on-palm clicking- "And it doesn't make this any easier. You guys want to keep on talking to him, go ahead. I'm not going to stand here and waste my time."

Then him storming off, the door opening and closing. Starfire whimpering. Raven sighing, Beast Boy shuffling.

_This was painful_. They hated him. All of them._ They ought to. _

"Don't, Star." Raven, being calm. He was grateful for that, it's what he would have done, if he could have comforted them, said something, helped, it's how he'd have tried. _Stoic leader. Some chance. _

"But Cyborg is so-"

"He's just upset. This…thing- you know how hard he's been working. To get him back. And now…" she tailed off.

"Dude, please, if we've done anything, we're sorry. But we want you back, just talk to us."

They waited. Dick counted his breaths and bit his tongue.

_Nothing you can do. Ride it out. _

"Robin!" Something- Starfire- jumped on him, trying to hug around the table. Dickforced his head away, eyes squeezed shut, _it would be so easy to start crying, _clenched his fists, pushed his skin against the restraints, made himself feel them instead of her-

"Star-"

"But he is our friend! And this is wrong!"

"Star- don't, you'll suffocate him-" she was tugged back, and he could hear her sobbing now. Over it, through it, "What are we going to do? If he will not speak what will we do?"

Neither of them answered, not for a long time. Just her, crying, loudly, painfully.

"We're going to have to call the police."

Another pause.

"Can we do that? He's our leader." Beast Boy sounded scared, like it was impossible for Dick to have done anything wrong. If he hadn't been forcing himself to not feel anything, he might have been touched.

Raven, quietly, persistently, controlling her voice. "If he's acting like a criminal then all we can do is treat him like one." Another sob out of Star, "I wish we didn't. But we're vigilantes. We're on the line as it is, and if we keep him here and someone finds out-"

"Batman." Starfire spoke very quietly, very quickly, but the word jolted him, he flinched against the bonds.

_Batman. Here. Involved. _

No. No. He was going to have to escape. He couldn't face Bruce, like this, wearing this (the 'S' was suddenly heavy on his chest), here like this, no-

_Calm down. Breathe. Think. _

"Whoa. Batman." Now Beast Boy sounded excited. "It'd be better than calling the police-"

_Two choices. One. Talk to them. Tell them. _

_Get them killed._

_Two, stay quiet. Batman comes here. See's you tied up and dressed like a criminal. He never forgives you. You go to prison. _

_But nobody dies. _

There wasn't even a choice.

"You think that's a good idea? Involving the Justice League? You know how they'll react. They'll take over. We won't get to see him." Raven again, being rational again. Why wouldn't they listen to her?

"But Batman can help him."

All of them were quiet, considering, thinking.

"Yeah. Okay. You're right. We'll call them."

_No. NO. _

"Awesome! I mean-" Beast Boy cut himself off, "not awesome. But. You know. He's Batman. If anyone can sort this out he can."

"Yeah, well. Come on. Let's go and find Cyborg. Make sure he hasn't fried his circuits."

"And then we call Batman?"

"You could try not to sound so happy about it. Come on Starfire."

"Yes." he felt her lean over him, hug, whisper, "I am sorry." Then she stood up, let go, and together they left.


	9. Chapter 9

YOU KNOW WHAT'S BETTER THAN A LATE UPDATE? A RUBBISH LATE UPDATE! YOU KNOW WHAT'S BETTER THAN A RUBBISH LATE UPDATE? A RUBBISH LATE SHORT UPDATE.

Today I bring you the perfect combination of all three. This is another non-chapter. Sorry dudes, seriously, especially because…

GUYS. 41 reviews! Freakin awesome sauce. Thank you! For your trouble, individual responses to the reviewers for the last couple of chapters, from newest to oldest cos that's how I rock.

Thiefy, it always makes me happy when someone new finds something I've made. Totals hope you don't start hating it.

Yorkiepudding, I WILL TRY TO HAVE THE LEAGUE BUT WHAT IF I DO THEM WRONG AND BECOME HATED.

In the dark. Follow the Son, sorry, I don't think my angst is quite depressing enough yet BUT I WILL WORK ON IT JUST FOR YOU.

Hanna Sedai, you continue to tell me how to get better, which is the best thing a review can do. If I cease to suck so much it will be your doing.

FTG, Make an account! I'd totally read your stories! Also, I'm totally just luring you into a false sense of security. In the next chapter everyone starts talking like Hit-Girl and there's zombies and explosions and nakedness everywhere. Nah, honestly, I just rated it T because I'm new to this and I wanted to be careful.

SladeRavenFan, I'm sorry if I've been mean about Raven, like I said writing the Titans is not where I excel. If there's anything I can do better, say and it shall be done.

FiresCreek, Okay, here is a deal- I will continue to write every chapter so long as you have already reviewed them. For paradox fun.

Swallow Tale, you have reviewed like every chapter so far and you wrote the first one. I'd say that you were my home dog, but honestly I think I'm probably yours bro.

Okay, dudes. I don't want to oversell the reviewing thing, because it's not why I write stuff, and it's nice just to know that people read it (yeah I found that page with the counter). So thanks guys.

ON ANOTHER MATTER. I was talking about this with friends, and wanted a wider field of opinions. Would you rather read a book/ see a film with a strong, silent male lead and a friendly female, or with the genders swapped? Or would you rather read something with two guys or two girls? Just curious bros, if you write a review, then could you tell me?

Totes don't own the titans.

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Batman.

_Bruce._

He'd know by now. He'd be on his way. What would he do?

_Maybe it'll push him over the edge. Off the straight and narrow. From noble vigilantism into straight up cold blooded murder._

No. Batman didn't break. Hadn't killed the man who'd killed his parents.

_Didn't let you kill Zucco._

Which was a good thing. The right thing. Right.

_Then why are you angry about it?_

Not a productive chain of thought. Dick decided to distract himself.

They'd put him in a cell. The only cell, since the Titans didn't really keep prisoners.

_ If you were anyone else they'd have handed you over to the police. They hate you._

It was better than being tied down. In here he had all of 2 metres by 3 to himself (an estimation, he didn't have the strength to get up and check). Not bad. He could go for a walk. Admire the scenery.

_You have to start taking things seriously. Child._

And that would make everything better? If Batman wasn't so serious then maybe he'd have a heart, _maybe he'd be human enough to care about how that murdering, evil inhuman Zucco being alive-_

Dick stopped himself, crouched, shut his eyes, leant his head back on the cold wall him. There was an ache starting behind his ears. Where was all this anger coming from? He hadn't even thought about Zucco in years-

_And wasn't that odd. Most people, normal people, get counselling if they see their parents die. You started dressing up like a traffic light, named yourself after a bird and went free running through Gotham's crime district. Most people stay angry. You learnt how to fight bad guys and make bad jokes. Most people don't act like robots and take it in and bottle it up and actually feel something and they don't explode like this-_

_Normal people._

_People who haven't been trained by Batman._

_Messed up by fighting crime._

_Brainwashed-_

No. No. Not going there. Never, ever, ever give Slade's words the room to sink in, grow, plant themselves. He wasn't even here. He couldn't even touch him.

_You're alone and you're still thinking it._

Above him a door clanged open, feet moved on the stairs, voices overlapped and echoed through the corridors. How many were coming? Four? Five? Two sets of footfalls were heavier than the rest. Cyborg was the only big Titan, so one mystery.

_Not a mystery._

Dick gritted his teeth and pressed his fingernails into his palms. How long had it taken him to get here? Two hours?_ Bat-plane._

It had been hard enough not talking to the Titans. Batman- how could he ignore Batman?

_He's trained you to obey him. There's a word for that-_

But they were outside the door, and about to come in, and Dick stopped himself thinking just in time.

The handle turned. Cyborg, Starfire, Raven, Batman._ He was scowling._ He was wearing the cowl, it made you look angry._ Even so-_

_He hates you._

It wasn't fair. None of this-

_Child. Stop complaining. You deserve this_.

And despite everything, he still felt happy, somehow, that Batman was there. _Why? He can't fix anything._

_You're pathetic._

Batman took over rooms in a way Bruce Wayne never could. His shoulders stretched across the ceiling, his feet covered the whole floor, the black, black of his cape sucked away all the light. Standing, shrunken beside him, Cyborg tried to be a leader. "You want a bit of privacy?" Batman turned his look towards Cyborg. "Yeah. Of course you do. Come on guys, let's leave the man."

They drifted out, Cyborg stopping in the doorway to say, "You want anything, just…" but he gave up in the face of Batman's stare.

And the door closed. They were alone. Dick crossed his arms across his knees, held them there. He wasn't going to move. He wasn't going to react.

Bruce was standing very, very still. Looming.

_Waiting for you to make the first move._

Dick turned away and closed his eye. He would have to keep waiting then.

"What happened?"

There was something wrong with how he was talking, and it took Dick a moment to realise what. It was a cold shock- Bruce was doing the Batman voice. _It was how he talked to criminals and strangers. He's never spoken to you like that before._ It was because of the Titans, of course. He knew they'd be listening. Secret identity. _Tell yourself that._

"Robin. What happened?"

It would have been harder, really, if he'd been Bruce. Batman only worked if you were scared of him. _You're scared of him_. Fine, Batman only worked if you believed in him. If you hadn't seen him take off the mask. As it was, he was nervous, but not guilty.

No. he felt guilty, but he couldn't act on it. The Titans.

"I'm giving you a chance." He leant forward, dropping his voice, sounding softer for a second. "Dick, please. Whatever's happened…"

Dick turned away. Counted to ten. Closed his eyes. _Ignore that you're betraying him._

Batman straightened, shaking out his cape as he stood up.

He'd given up. _Shows how much you're worth to him._

It struck Dick that he might never get a chance to explain himself. Batman might never understand.

"Look. At. Me." Dick hunched his shoulders. _Coward. If you cared about him, you'd find a way around this._ But he couldn't, and Batman, not even looking at him, stalked back out the door.

It shut. The lock locked.

That was that then. Dick felt the cold set in. Everything that could have gone wrong had. Everyone that had cared about him didn't.

_You've been abandoned._

He deserved it.

And all he could do was wait to see what would happen next.


	10. Chapter 10

This isn't even a proper chapter guys, you'll get another one this week, and it'll have plenty of Dick-angst. This is basically here because I realised that I forgot that Raven could read minds. My bad. Take this crummy explanation. I'm also using it as an opportunity to break my one-point-of-view rule, with my favourite character ever. Since it's not a proper chapter and all. I hope I do her right.

AND WHO IS THIS FABBY LADY? .com/watch?v=yivtn1qRo20 (watch this video seriously it's awesome)

I don't think I did it right, but I had to try. Such a massive fan-girl guys.

(Also I'll thank you all properly next time cos I am essaying right now, but c2ii you crazy person, you compared me to Hanna Sedai. That was a wonderful way of proving your madness. Thank you.)

Totes own nothing

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I think of myself as a compassionate woman. I must. If my standards fell there would be nothing to hold me up, I would crumble into something inhuman. That will not happen.

Because it is difficult, to be as old as I am and to know people as I do and not to see their flaws above their graces. So I keep compassion in my heart. I work against each tiny tragedy.

I draw my strength from warmth.

Batman takes his from the cold.

It seems, sometimes, as if he won't believe in anything good. He's too stubborn. He would shatter the world to change it, rather than wait and work and coax as we others do.

Taking in the boy, training a child soldier, it confirmed what we were thinking. I disapproved. No, more than that, I flew to Gotham, ready to beat him blacker than his own shadows but-

Then, there they were, on a rooftop, some goons tied up in a heap, the boy doing somersaults and making puns

-and Batman was smiling.

Compassion is a dangerous thing, I was blinded by it. That man who had been so hollow was healing himself, and I saw that that would be good for the world, and that it was good for him and I stepped back again and left him with his ward.

And I knew, even then, that something like this would happen.

I didn't stop it. Not even when, some months ago, Robin left home and set up his own team. More children. But Batman was worried already, and beyond that so **proud**, so I watched but didn't intervene. There were other problems- burning forests, super villains- but I let the inevitable tragedy of the Titans go. It was unforgiveable.

We were alone in the Justice League headquarters. It was a little past five in the morning. Between us we'd found a comfortable silence. An alarm went off, not exactly uncommon, and I glanced towards the dashboard. One of the smaller heroic groups was contacting us.

Batman didn't respond, he rarely let anything distract him, so I moved to check.

"It's the Titans."

Behind me he stiffened, the papers in his hand crinkling. Pride and fear, like any parent. I prayed for it to be good news.

"I'll speak to them."

I nodded and left him alone. I didn't listen to what they said- Batman and Robin deserved their privacy as much as any family. It was the hard smack of the communicator on the control board that told me something was wrong.

"What is it? Batman-" he had hunched over, fists clenched on either side. I thought the worst. "Robin- is he-"

"No. There's been a complication. I'm going to Jump."

"Batman-"

"I'll be back later."

I touched his shoulder. "I'll be here."

Batman took his strength from the cold, and when it wasn't enough he had no idea how to ask for warmth.

After a quiet night (a collapsing bridge, a rampaging minotaur) I returned, and a little later, so did he.

Staggering, tight faced, pale where his skin showed. Shaking. I stood my ground and blocked his way.

"Talk to me."

And he did, for maybe the first time, Batman **shared**. "Robin has…" he shuddered and composed himself, "been stealing. For a criminal."

He went on, for maybe five minutes, standing still next to me. I had never heard him speak for so long uninterrupted. The Titans, the criminal whose colours Robin had been wearing, Robin himself locked in a cell. "He wouldn't speak to me."

I hugged Batman, one arm round each shoulder, a proper wide shouldered embrace. Again, he has no idea how to ask for warmth.

He cleared his throat, looking down, inhaled and seemed to grow a little taller again. I let him go. "I have to make arrangements."

"Arrangements?"

"To take him to Gotham, Blackgate has a young offender's facility."

"You're sending him to prison?"

"He knew my code."

"Batman-"

"I don't know what else to do!" Inside his cowl, I heard his teeth grate. "Maybe it'll help him, if I can just get him to talk to me-"

"How about a mind reader?"

He shook his head. "They have one in the Titans. She tried, but without letting him know what she was doing, she couldn't push too far."

And if Robin had turned against Batman, they way to win him back was trust. Not mind reading.

"Maybe someone more advanced could get further-"

"I don't want to hurt him."

I didn't press it. People who come from science find it hard to trust magic.

Batman moved, but I caught his arm. "Whatever has happened, whatever teenaged rebellion this is, it won't last." Batman stayed stern, so smiling, I released his wrist with a squeeze, "I promise."


	11. Chapter 11

Wow so I totally let that update gap happen. In my defence I have been through hell-week (the week of the essays), but I promised you an extra chapter too, and that was not cool. Sorry guys.

Also in my defence, I seriously considered running out on this. I have been all sorts of crazy busy. BUT THEN the great angel of the not-letting-down-the-internet-people appeared and said, Reddo, get your act together. So I will be giving you roughly weekly updates from now till this thing is done. Sorry again.

Also, it was totally wonder woman narrating the last chapter. It wasn't supposed to be secret or anything, I just forgot to say and the link didn't work. I'll put it on Tumblr. My bad guys.

Any whoo, could someone tell me what exactly constitutes an alternative universe? I thought I knew but am now not sure. And if any Starfire fans out there could tell me how to write her better I sure would appreciate it (right now she's a manic baby)

Totes don't own the titans.

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He was getting stiff. When he moved his legs pain stretched down them, when he sat up his back ached.

So Dick did neither, staying bent over, knees under his chin, head down, eyes half closed.

_Sitting still for too long. Getting lazy. Ought to be exercising. Planning an escape. _

He frowned, twisted his hands together. Should he try? Run back to Slade? No. Bad idea. One way to incriminate himself forever.

_Anyway, like you could escape from Batman. _

But if he had the chance he'd have to. If Slade was watching. _You know he is. He has to be, or they'd be dead. _And if he had a chance and he didn't run _he'd know. _

So Dick would just have to pray that they guarded him well.

Someone knocked, quietly and briefly like they weren't sure if they ought to. Dick's neck cracked up, for a second he hoped it would be Batman. _Stupid. What good would he do you? And he never knocks. _

"Robin?"

Starfire. She edged inside- _not opening the door all the way, she doesn't trust you not to run- _watching him, carrying a tray. Seeing him looking at her she smiled. Dick, not wanting to disappoint her any more than he had to, turned away. He heard her stop still. Felt her realise that nothing was different, that he wasn't going to talk.

"I- we thought you would be hungry."

He could smell the food, but it made him feel sick more than starving. Pizza, of course. Not exactly appropriate. Like she knew what he was thinking, Starfire went on, "I am sorry, it was all that we had."

_Children._

Crouching, she put the tray down between them. Dick was careful not to look at it. At her. It wasn't that he thought Slade would care about a glance, but if he weakened, if he let himself, then he might say something. And he wouldn't let himself hurt her.

When he didn't move to take it, she sat and pushed the tray towards him. "Please Robin, you have been here almost two days. You will become unwell." She paused again, sniffing, blinking, _she's almost crying. It's so weak. She's pathetic._ No- Dick closed his eyes. Where had that come from? _You thought it. _ "We are your friends. We are worried about you."

They aren't worried, they're scared. They don't know what to think about this. Real friends wouldn't doubt you. No- that was unfair. He'd given them no reason to think that he was anything other than a traitor. If it had been him in her place, he'd have done the same thing. You can't know that.

She gathered herself and tried to speak conversationally "Batman has returned to the Justice League." _Left you. Show how much he cares. _It wasn't like that. _It is. Though at least now you don't have to worry about Bruce catching you._ Starfire coughed,"He is very…"

Dick knew her well enough to finish her sentences. She wanted to say scary, shadowy, maybe intimidating if she'd been reading her dictionary- _that was almost cruel- _but she wouldn't call him anything like that; she'd see it as mean rather than honest. "Tall." And, watching from the corner of his eye, Dick saw her, a little apologetically, smile.

It was enough for him to almost let himself smile back.

_Almost. _

Starfire broke eye contact, "Cyborg has been building a new car. He will not let any of us see it yet, but he is very excited. He will even eat while working!" she fiddled with the tray's edge. "And Beast Boy is spending much time as an animal. He is building a whole network of friends- dogs and cats and pigeons, mainly, but also rats and fish. Rats are very nice! They are cute! Beast Boy says they receive the bad press." Dick caught a laugh in his throat. Of course Star liked the rats. "Raven was not so fond of them, but she is being won over. And it has already helped us stop several evil plots." She stopped short. _Maybe your break in at Star Industries was one of them. _But she coughed and went on, trying to make it sound natural. "Raven is also working very hard. She has been practicing many spells, though we do not understand them, and she will not talk about them she seems to be doing much-" her fists clenched in her lap, her voice broke, she went on quietly, quickly. "She will not talk to us. She will not talk to me." Now she was staring at the pizza, Dick glanced up at her, slowly, he couldn't stop himself. "They will not talk to me. I fear-" she choked, "I fear that we are drifting apart." What she'd always been most scared of. Starfire didn't speak much about her past, but they all knew how important friendship was to her, how she clung to it, how terrified she was of- _stop pitying her. You can't afford it. You can't risk it. She's a snivelling child, and doesn't deserve anything but contempt. Did she see her parents killed in front of her? Did she live knowing their murderer was still alive? She's weak. She's not worth anything. _Dick dug his hands into his legs. He didn't agree of course- _you don't agree with yourself?- _but if thinking like that could keep him strong then- _excuse yourself however you want, you despise her_.

"I cannot stop it."

He'd never wanted to comfort anyone more. He'd never been so angry with himself. _You've never felt so disgusted. _

But he kept on looking at her, her head bent over, her shoulders hunched, it would be so easy to fix it, fix the team, fix her-

Starfire sniffed and looked up. He didn't have time to turn away, he didn't have time to turn his expression into a glare. For the first time since he'd been rescued- _captured- _he was caught in eye contact.

For a long moment neither of them moved, stuck like that, Dick knowing his cover was blown- _compromised at most_-, that she'd have seen through the stony faced act, Starfire's expression going from surprised to confused to hopeful.

"Robin…" she lifted her hand, starting to smile-

And Dick, knowing that he couldn't hurt her any more than he had to, looked down and clutched his hands across his knees.

Star froze. Slowly, she let her arm fall back onto her lap. She shivered, and without speaking, stood up awkwardly, walking soundlessly back to the door. Steeling herself, taking a deep breath, she put her hand on the door knob. With her back turned she finished, "The Batman said he would be back tomorrow. I will tell the others you are well."

And was gone, edging round the door again, closing it gently behind her.

He felt cold all over, down to his stomach, through his bones. How could he have- _You don't care about her, or you couldn't. _Clenching his teeth, he tried to shudder the thought out of his head. This was all for them. All of his suffering, all of theirs. It would be worth it to save them.

Half-heartedly, he looked at his pizza. He knew he should eat something. Keep his strength up. Be practical. _Do what Slade would do._ Ignoring that, Dick picked up a slice and started to chew. It tasted like cardboard.

_Very nutritious. _

He recognised the plate she'd brought it in on. The chipped one they'd dropped when they'd un[packed, when they'd first moved in. _She probably used it on purpose. Trying to make you nostalgic. Manipulative, weak willed little girl. _

He shouldn't be thinking like that. Find something to focus on.

The tray was heavy, wooden with metal handles. Heavy looking, probably she'd borrowed it from Cyborg's garage-

_A heavy piece of wood and metal. _

She'd left him with-

_A weapon. _


	12. Apprenticed! Part 1

Sooo let me explain.

This came about because someone explained to me what an AU is (I thought it was like the whole cast in high school). Since this is now officially an AU, I decided that I ought to tell you how it diverged from the canon storyline. Hence Apprenticed!

These will be frequent, teeny tiny (seriously) updates which will not interfere with the current plot. They're going to detail the becoming-an-apprentice part of the story, so they're a prequel of sorts. Since Dick is a whole lot less messed up I'm going to be laying off the italics in them, but they'll still be from his perspective. It's also going to let Slade show up a bit more, since he's been gone for a few chapters now.

So anyway, if you hate this idea, say, and I'll put them in a separate story file or something. Or if you really hate them, I'll stop. Whatever, it should be fun (for me).

Totes don't own the Titans.

kkkdkdkdkdkdkdkdkdkdkd kdkdkdkdk dkdkdk nhjsbn ujij

This was it.

The real thing, after months, this was Slade. Not some stupid robot, not a set up. It had to be him. It had to be. Dick checked the tracker, just to be sure. He was definitely there, right above the curved 's'. Ducking between shadows, he snorted. Trust Slade to have a hideout in the industrial docks. Practical, camouflaged behind the normal criminals, but with buildings big enough for theatrics. It was an obvious spot. Honestly, he should have thought of it before.

Didn't matter. What was important was catching Slade before he could do any more damage. And finding the entrance was easy; not many old factories had state of the art security systems.

All these little obvious hints proved one thing;

Dick smiled. Slade wasn't as clever as he thought he was.

But no need to be hasty, Batman would disapprove: crouching against the door, he listened. There was someone talking inside- Slade- in the middle of a monologue. Something about the Titans being out of time.

He had a hundred quips prepared for that line; it was almost a shame that Slade was being so clichéd. No challenge.

Still, Dick considered as he packed plastic explosives into the doors and ducked, he'd take what he could get. Once they'd blown off their hinges and the dust was settling he sprung into the room.

"Actually, we just went into overtime."


	13. Apprenticed! Part 2

GUYS. So as far as I could tell, people liked the idea of flashbacks. I'm not saying that everyone did, just that those who approved were more vocal. Again- if you hate this, please say. Continuing in that, here's part two of Apprenticed. The next proper chapter (i.e non flashback) will be up Friday my time. I'm not showing favouritism to the flashbacks,they are just a whole lot shorter.

Totes don't own the Titans.

)))))))))))))))

Slade glanced up over his shoulder, and Dick could feel him smirking through the mask.

"Robin. Welcome." His voice was warm, he drew out the 'welcome' like he meant it. Dick flipped over the railings, landing on a level with him. He wasn't going to let himself get distracted. "I've been expecting you for some time."

Reshuffling his fingers along his bo-staff, eyes narrowed, planning his first move, Dick tensed. An obvious villain move- pretending that he was still in control, that this was still part of his plan.

Still- it was a little unsettling. Maybe he shouldn't have come running alone after all, maybe this was another robot decoy-

No. Dick gathered his confidence. It was definitely Slade. In the flesh. He was breathing.

He'd found him.

He'd beaten him.

All it would take now were a few good punches. The Titans would see how acting the way he had was necessary, that it worked.

Dick grinned. Knowing, completely certain, that he had won.

He let himself look around; after all, he deserved to see a little more of Slade's world before he brought him in. The man was such a mystery.

The building was huge, stretching off underground, old machinery still cranking around in the corners, the smell of rust sharp everywhere. Behind Slade screens three times his height showed the Titans, still battling robots in the sewers. Was there anywhere that Slade didn't have cameras?

But all the surveillance in the world couldn't keep him safe forever.

Conversationally, still half looking at Dick, Slade went on. "I was beginning to worry that Cinderblock was too much of a challenge. Looking for this?" he held something small up, and without recognising it, Dick knew what it had to be.

The detonator.

He didn't respond, moving his feet a little so he was better prepared to launch. Before he could do anything else, he had to get that away from him. No point in capturing Slade if it cost half of Jump.

"Well, here it is." Slade placed the thing gently in front of him, neatly under a grimy light.

This was going to be a duel. No, this was Slade telling Dick that he couldn't beat him.

The arrogance- Dick clenched his hands and didn't let his face say anything. He'd show him that he deserved to be taken seriously.

Straightening, Slade folded his arms behind his back, as relaxed a super-villain as he'd ever seen. This would be a story to tell Batman later. "If you want it, come and take it."

Dick measured the distance, planned a jump, Slade calmly watched, waiting to make the second move.

Smirking, every inch ready to smash that mask apart, Dick decided that he wasn't going to get the chance.


	14. Chapter 12

__A PROPER CHAPTER. WHAT.

I am uploading this on borrowed time, so I'll have a huge big reviewer thank next chapter. This one... it may be jumping the shark. Rest assured, the next will be filled with angst-tastic consequences. I promise.

Also, for those of you who enjoyed my butchered Starfire characterisation, I bring you another badly written character.

(Again, please tell me if you hate the apprenticed thing)

Totes don't own the Titans.

FGHJKLKKIOIUYYT FTGYUYGYG TFTFTFFF FYTFFTFF

_A weapon._

_Exactly what Slade would have thought. _

But he couldn't let himself dwell on that.

_You aren't even trying to deny it. _

Dick eyed the corners of his cell. There had to be a camera in here. They couldn't have left him unwatched. Nothing to see, but since they had Cyborg that didn't mean anything. _So you'll have to be quick and you'll have to be subtle. _

Using the tiniest movements, keeping in as close to his shadow as possible, he crept out his hand till he found the handle, felt for the edges, and snapped it off. Now he had something sharp, and something heavy.

So far so good.

_Are you really going to hurt them?_

No, he wasn't. _Unless you have to. _Which was why he had to get out of here before someone came in to check on him. He couldn't risk having to defend himself.

_Not like they'd bother holding back. _

Now for the hard part. Dick glanced up at the door. No air vents, it was the only way out. He sized up the hinges- didn't look all that strong- _Titans obviously hadn't expected anyone to try to break out of their prison, stupid children- _he'd just need leverage, and the tray would give him that.

As soon as he moved they'd know something was up. _So you have to be fast. _

Dick stopped. What was he doing? _What you have to. _ But they'd never trust him again. _Remember Starfire? _He bit his tongue. _They already don't. _

But more than that, this would be him doing what Slade wanted without even being told to. Of his own free will. Deciding and planning, thinking and actively, independently letting himself change, becoming more like-

_How honourable that sounds. You would sacrifice them for your self-esteem? _

No. Dick felt for the metal handle. He'd never do that.

Right then.

_One, two-_

He was up, jammed the tray between the door and its hinge, shoved it in again, pulled back his leg and kicked. Something splintered, the sound echoing back across his cell.

_Hopefully it hadn't been the tray._

Another kick and the door shifted visibly. _It was working._ Another and the wood cracked, tray with it, but breaking enough for him to dig out a hole, bashing and breaking with the handle till it was big enough-

And he'd scrambled through, and was on the other side.

That was easy. You're not out yet.

It was dark in the stairwell. Must have been late. What had Starfire said?- Bruce- _Batman- _was coming in the morning. He'd have to be long gone by then.

Creeping, barely daring to lean on his toes, he began to make his way to the first floor.

The door on the landing was unlocked. _Sloppy security. And they're supposed to be heroes- _

Dick stopped himself, realising as he did how alarmingly good he was getting at censoring his thoughts.

Anyway, it was better, he reasoned, for him to find problems now, rather than some criminal using them later. When he got back to the Titans, when he got out of this whole apprentice thing, he'd be able to tell them about the locks.

_Yeah, keep telling yourself that's going to happen._

And he had to stop insulting them, even internally. They were his team. _Batman raised you better, did he?_

With the landing door closed softly behind him, he walked into the ground floor shadows. The same pale walls and smell- part pizza, part oil, part Beast Boy- same temperature even. Home.

Dick looked back and forward, up and down. He'd expected- what? Nostalgia? Familiarity? Warmth? They were there, but distantly. He couldn't relax, this place felt treacherous. _Too close to the enemy. _

It took him a moment to remember the right way out.

Keeping in at the walls, breathing half breaths and checking every corner, he made his slow way forward. _The building was a maze. They had never needed this many turns. _It was a stupid design anyway- who had decided on the 'T' shape again? Dick snorted, probably Beast Boy and Starfire, and Cyborg would have enjoyed the challenge, and Raven would have been sarcastic but wouldn't have stopped them from wasting their time_._

_Children. _

No, that was unfair, they-

_Something's coming. _

Not footsteps. Quieter. A whispering, heavy and soft, _Raven drifting. _

She was the most nocturnal of them, after all.

Dick froze. At least Starfire dashed when she flew, at least she was noisy. It was luck he'd picked up anything at all, and far too late to do anything about it. Trapped, he pulled himself in to the wall. _Yes, because she's blind. _

The tray handle, _sharp at one end,_ was heavy in his hand.

Could he-?

His staff was blunt, the explosives and birdarangs- _stupid word- , _even that gun, were long range. Up close you had to hit or kick hard to cause lasting damage. Stabbing someone wasn't-

_She was there. _Her slight shadow against the wall, he swallowed the dizziness and nausea already rising in his chest. This was exactly what he hadn't wanted.

Raven stopped. _She knows you're here. _He felt her shudder, felt her glance around and eventually, find him.

"Robin." She was nervous, she was scared. _Scared of you. _Sounded weird to hear her gruff voice frightened.

Without really thinking about it, he found his footing, twisted the handle to the right direction.

_You have to act._

And do what? Hurt Raven? He couldn't. He was frozen.

She didn't attack either, _probably knew that any move she made would force him to reciprocate, trying to act like she's still your friend. _

Speaking bluntly, quickly and maybe moving slightly away from him, she continued, "I sensed your emotions." _She read your mind. _Another sign of how much they trusted him. Dick narrowed his eyes, shifted back into the darkness; he couldn't let her see him panic. How could she have done that without him knowing? _More importantly, what did she learn?_

"I know there's something else going on."

Maybe she saw some confirmation in his expression because she stopped retreating, _trying to get a surprise attack in. _

"You're afraid of something."

_Obviously. You're afraid of her, afraid of all of them, can't hurt them, but they've already hurt you. _Tension building in his muscles, _getting ready._

Something changed in her, a new decisiveness. She looked at him- _towards him, hard to tell what you were seeing in this light- _and shuddered, steeling herself. Then, so slowly, she began to come back.

"I…I know what it's like to be afraid." A little closer. _Watch out. _"I know what it's like to feel like you can't talk." She stopped, tensed, and went on, "But all of you- knowing all of you- it's helping me." She was getting self-conscious, Dick could hear it, "Even Beast Boy." She'd gone to sarcasm, _how can you trust someone like that?_

"My point is…" she was forcing words out, losing her calm, _good time to strike,_ _"_I'm trying to say that… we can help you…together."

She meant it. _Don't trust her._ He was ready to move, _does she know that you're armed? _Can't do, she wouldn't be letting her guard down like this.

"If you let us," she was trying to make eye contact. He couldn't let her. _That might be how she gets into your head. _"I know we can-"

He didn't plan it. _So you say._

Dick pushed himself off the ground, slammed into Raven, pulled down her hood and forced her back into the wall. _Don't let her talk, _he found a handful of her cape, forced it between her teeth and _held her down. _She'd been too surprised to fight back, and though she struggled weakly he was far stronger-

_You can't afford to feel guilty. _

Pinning her, he had a second to wonder what to do next, but a familiar tingling reached his neck. _She didn't need her words? _It was weaker than her normal magic, but he could already feel the power pulling at him, lifting him, _and as soon as she can talk-_

He had to stop her from concentrating-

_You can't afford to feel guilty. _He couldn't let himself be weak.

So he lifted his hand and plunged the tray handle into her side.


	15. Apprenticed! Part 3

HI THERE. Look at this a super-long (not teeny tiny) apprenticed. Well I never.

Thanks to you reviewers! Elvenstar Imrahil, Thaliag.2, UninhibitedAmbitions, Driftingthought, Asilla, 437, Hanna Sedai, all you guys rock. SladeRavenFan, you made my Raven suck a whole lot less. For that, I am grateful.

(I am also very glad that nobody killed me over having Robin stab her)

Next proper chapter up on Friday, maybe another apprenticed before then, totes don't own the titans

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He wasn't going to win.

He'd realised it as soon as they'd started, ignored it for the first few brawls, denied it when Slade caught him in the air, but now, as he hit the back wall too quickly to roll-

_You can't beat him._

Slade was strong, fast, and intelligent (no, criminals were never clever. More like sneaky). He saw moves coming. He knew where to hit to put him down with a tap.

And most of all- Slade caught his arm, twisted it to breaking point, commenting, "Good technique." – he knew how to get under your skin.

Right now, if he wanted to, Slade could kill him.

The Titans wouldn't know, he'd be dead down here and nobody would ever-

But he let go, throwing him easily off his feet, and finishing, "But not perfect."

Which turned Dick's fear to anger. This wasn't even a serious fight. Realising that was worse, somehow, than being scared.

"Come now Robin," stepping forward, flexing his neck, "I've not even broken a sweat."

Dick had learned not to engage in banter. It was for sidekicks, he'd left it behind in Gotham, but Slade obviously liked to fight with words, and he was disadvantaging himself by not playing back.

"Careful, if you keep on giving me pointers you'll make this easy." Sounding confident was half the battle. He hunched his shoulders, squared up, tried to focus his anger into strength.

Across the room, hands behind his back, Slade answered conversationally, "I'm only passing the time."

That was too much- furious, Dick threw himself, almost getting in a kick, but Slade turned, snatched and landed him, winded, on the floor.

"You let yourself get angry. I understand that. You hate to lose as much as I do."

He should have stayed down, caught his breath, but those words shoved him into action. Rolling into a crouch, he launched himself-

And was caught again, this time round the neck, not tightly, but high enough for his boots to scrape the ground. Slade watched his face, "It's one of the many qualities we share."

Batman had told him how to deal with You-And-I-Are-Not-So-Different speeches. Granted, the Jokers came out a little differently, but Dick still knew what to do.

Ignore them.

This was a thinking situation, he didn't bother scrabbling. Distract him. "Why are you doing this? What are you going to get from freezing Jump?"

"Oh yes." he shook his head a little, "The Chronoton detonator. I almost forgot." Lowering- not dropping- him, Slade strode back to the trigger, picked it up and tossed it over his shoulder (Dick automatically dived, just catching it).

The little box exploded in his hand.

Horror struck, he stared at the pieces smouldering in his hand and on the floor. Had Slade set off the bomb? The Titans-

But he glanced towards the screens, there they were, crowded round the bomb, he had a chance to feel relieved-

And something exploded, all four of them were blasted away, and the camera clicked off.

"You killed them!" Dick felt himself jump- almost, _almost_, hitting Slade- but he sidestepped, leaving him to land awkwardly on his knee.

"Robin. Calm down. There was no Chronoton detonator."

"Then what was-"

The screens came back on, split into four, showing something medical. Too angry to think, he glared.

"What you're seeing are your friends' capillary systems." Slade looked down at him and offered his hand, waiting then just grabbing him up when he didn't take it. "I've just infested them with nano-probes- tiny, destructive robots." Walking towards the screens, Slade went on, "Harmless until they're not."

"You're going to threaten them?" Dick snorted, terrified and barely hiding it, "It won't work- they're heroes!-"

"Robin, this isn't about them. It's about you." He stepped back, circling. Dick watched, eyes narrowed, something dawning in the back of his mind, "It's always been about you."

Stopping, he flexed his fingers, and reached slowly behind his head.

Was he going to?-

Something unclipped, and Slade lifted off his helmet.

His face- Dick stared, after all this time, he just, why would he- "You-"

Going on, his voice less hollow but somehow worse, "For some time, I've been looking for someone to follow in my footsteps. An apprentice." He stopped, next to Dick, and leant down, "Robin, I've chosen you. "

That was enough to jolt him out of shock, still not thinking, Dick snorted, "I'd never work for-"

Slade gestured to the screen, and Dick froze.

It was all about him.

The Titans were held hostage.

Why hadn't he realised?

_Why were you so stupid?_

Slade was still speaking, though Dick could hardly hear him. "If you swear to serve me, if you promise to be loyal, I will let them live. If you refuse, I'll kill them."

There was no way out.

He'd wanted him here, he'd controlled him, _he knew he'd got you._

That was why he'd shown his face.

This was-

Something landed on his shoulder. Slades hand. Dick, coming out of his daze, saw that he was smiling, that his other palm was held out, slowly, calmly, warmly, he beckoned. "Your mask, please."


	16. Apprenticed! Part 4

sooooooo... I dunno how many of you dudes read the comments, but shock and horror I got a bad review. I am honestly cool with this (anon, if you are here, I'm sorry you don't like this, and I completely understand that you don't think I'm writing the characters right, I'll take it into account but I'm not going to change too much because it would probably cause whiplash. Please don't be offended by what I say next, I'm thanking others,not condemning you) but was also completely overwhelmed by how nice people were to me, not only here, but on tumblr. People who have written lovely comments, here is a link to a thank you I wrote on my tumblr. (just put my name and .tumblr at the start of the link) .com/post/21240465045/you-guys (Since this isn't really the place for me to go into detail I will just say that you are wonderful. Especially HannaSedai for her review breakdown)

On a related subject, I am really glad that people like my Slade, but comparing Slades is non-constructive. He's a great character, and there are many ways to write him,honestly mine is one of the simplest. All Slades are equal Slades.

Totes don't own the titans, and i hope you like this nonsense.

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His anger had turned numb, he was sick, shocked, frozen still.

Slade wanted him to-

He wouldn't.

Slade was expecting him to-

His identity, Bruce's identity-

"I can't-"Dick choked, catching the screens in the corner of his eye. The Titans-

Still staring, still smiling, Slade twitched his fingers.

_You don't have a choice. _

Without wanting to, almost trying to stop himself, Dick's hand lifted and found the edge of his mask. If he moved fast enough, could he snatch out Slade's eye, could he hit his throat, could he-

The skin around his face tugged as the mask came off.

It was almost harder putting it in his hand and letting go.

Slade nodded, straightening, finally looking away. Dick breathed, chest tight, eyes down. _You're finished. _"Good boy." The words scratched like sandpaper.

Someday he'd make him pay.

"Robin!" Starfire's voice, was she, were they-

"We are victorious! We are coming back out of the sewers and will meet you in the city centre, Beast Boy wishes to go to the movies-"

His communicator. Of course. Dick looked at Slade, who turned back down to him, "That too."

This was his only link to the Titans, his only way to tell them what was happening, he couldn't-

Dick unclipped it and handed it over. Slade turned it in his hand, Starfire's voice still coming from the speaker. He glanced at it, narrowing his eye and remarking conversationally "She's pathetic."

That was too much, "Don't you dare say that about her!", and he'd thrown himself at Slade, aiming for his face, fingers clawed-

And there were thick fingers round his wrist.

Slade sighed. "This is not what I expect." The grip on Dick's wrist twisted a little, his other hand crushed the communicator till Starfire's voice died. "If you won't listen, you aren't useful. If you aren't then neither are they." Under the pressure his fingers were starting to tingle, circulation cut off. His voice lowered, "I understand that this is a lot to take in, and I am willing to be patient, but I have _standards." _His hand moved, it hurt briefly, sharply, enough for Dick to shudder, and bite his teeth together. Slade let go and he jumped back, the pain gone. "Do you understand?"

Gathering himself, he managed to nod.

"What was that?"

"…yes."

"Look at me."

It was worse than Slade's grip, it burnt, it took every inch of strength to push his neck straight. More to kill his glare. "I understand."

Slade watched him, arms folded, for an unsettling moment too long. Then he smiled. "You understand _sir_." Swallowing, Dick reminded himself that his pride wasn't worth the Titans."But otherwise, good boy. What's your name?"

His tone hadn't changed, he'd spoken like it was nothing. Dick understood that it was a test, he knew he'd already shown his face, that this didn't matter, that he had to tell Slade everything he wanted to know. It stung all the same, "Dick- Richard. Richard Grayson."

Nodding, Slade stated, "Bruce Wayne's heir."

He almost nodded, stopped himself and answered, "Yes. Yes sir."

Slade shrugged, "He was on my Batman shortlist. Now, Dick," that was a kick to the stomach, "we are going out. First, though, you're going to change. I can't risk the Titans tracking us." he turned, striding off into the dark, and after a second- when he thought about the door behind him, when he wondered how far he could get, when he imagined the Titans, how they'd already be worrying, how if he could only get a message to them- Dick followed, slowly, wondering where they were going and how he could possibly get away.


	17. Chapter 17

__I'm in a hurry- I'll add reviewer thanks later- but for now, have a chapter. This one goes out to all of you who are enjoying watching Dick's mind eat itself.

Also, before I forget again, if anyone is going to be in Edinburgh for the Fringe Festival this Summer me and HannaSedai are planning a Teen Titans meet up, and you should totally come. So get in touch (probably better to message her since she invited people first and it might be easier)

Totes don't own the Titans

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_No going back now. _

Cold, fear, panic, all running in him, Dick tried to get off her but her was stuck, tangled, and what had he-

What you had to. You did what you had to.

Raven squeaked, she couldn't make much of a noise, still gagged by her cloak, could she breathe was he still hurting her what had he-

_You have to calm down. _

She was bleeding, he'd stabbed her, this had all been for them and he'd hurt her and there was no point and what if she was-

_You have to breathe. _

He let out the gasp he hadn't realised he was holding. The new air made him a little stronger, made him see better, see Raven better, lying crooked on the floor, black staining her purple, the handle still caught awkwardly in the ragged gash on her cloak, he'd hurt he'd killed her what had he-

_No. Stop that. _

Dick felt himself steady, a cool clear logic sapping at him. He couldn't be guilty. He couldn't be caught.

_She's fine. She's breathing. Who knows if that's even blood? She's hardly even human. Does she bleed? _

That was cruel-

_You thought it. _

But he'd stabbed her, his friend, one of his best friends, she'd been trying to help him-

_She would have done the same to you. _

No, she wouldn't, they wouldn't-

_She would. Now get out of here._

He shuddered, he ought to help her. He had to-

_You can't do anything. Get the handle. Get out. _

If he at least moved her cloak, let her get some air-

_And she'd be able to talk. _

Numb now, Dick stood up, grabbed at the handle; it came away, softly slipping back, he almost dropped it when new blood followed it out- it had still been-

_Don't. _

_You have to leave. You have to go. _

He had to.

_Not thinking, barely seeing, running and gasping, clutching the walls and leaving a messy trail of bloody handprints behind, there was the door, _he felt the handle, it was locked- _this one they lock, great- _so he smashed the glass, broke his way out- _thankful for Slade's leather costume now, aren't you?_

It was a cold, dark night. _It felt cold. It looked dark. Don't be weaker than the weather. _But the fresh air drained the strength he had left, Dick slumped _but you can't let yourself stop. _

He looked around, off at the distant city lights, blinking at them, mind dulling-

_Get off the island. _

Yes.

It was too big a risk to go after Cyborg's car, or even his motorcycle, what else was there? Swimming? He was already shaking, feeling dizzy, probably wouldn't make it-

Maybe that would better-

_No. _No. He couldn't, he wouldn't, too frightened, _no, there is nothing valiant about killing yourself. _

What now then? It would have to be walking. Dick started running, unevenly, breathing raggedly; he almost fell a few times, but reached the bridge. _You can't stop, keep going. _

He was halfway to the city when he ran out of everything and had to slow down. _You're weak. _He was.

Raven-

_You can't do anything for her. _

But he could have-

_Not without being caught. _

But-

_It's done._

Something snapped inside him, he was shaking, he was hurting, he was watching himself from outside his eyes, he was going crazy. A lump sat in his throat, he wanted to cry, but there wasn't enough left in him to manage it, and he didn't deserve to be sad. Not when he'd stabbed Raven and left her and abandoned her-

_No more of that. _

Dick slipped, jolted himself back into life. Shaking again, he grasped his arms together. It was very cold, getting colder as the night wore on.

He started, slowly, to think again.

Slade would find him. He'd just have to make himself conspicuous. Stand somewhere public with a sign round his neck reading 'will be apprenticed for food.' Dick smiled, a lip twitch; probably Slade would congratulate him on stabbing Raven.

That would make him feel so much better.

_Cheer up. You'll be back with someone who you haven't betrayed._

If you could link blackmail to trust. He smiled again, laughed like a cough. If you could call Slade a someone.

_It would be good to talk again. _

Dick flinched, but by then he'd thought it. He couldn't have any part of him looking forward to seeing Slade again, his hatred couldn't weaken; he knew exactly where that road led.

_You're already on it._

Morosely, he looked down at his clothes- the same half-brown, half-black apprentice suit he'd been wearing since the night at STAR Labs- and saw for the first time the blood drying on his front and gloves.

Lots of it.

Made him sick.

How much had she lost?

_She can heal. _

She could heal other people, but he'd never seen her hurt badly, not this badly. His pace slowed, he almost looked over his shoulder.

_Like you're going to go back. Don't be stupid._

Dick swallowed but kept going, guilt thickening round his neck.

_There was never a chance of you turning round._

Suddenly disgusted, he started to peel off his gloves.

_You don't want to leave a trail. _But he couldn't bear to go on like this. Her blood, what he'd done to her, heavy on him, he realised that he was losing his breath again, that he was going to-

_Fine then. Child. _

He balled them together with the handle and threw them off the bridge. They might have floated, he didn't look. Next he dragged up the leather, leaving his plain top underneath, still a little stained but lighter and so much better. Holding it at arm's length, he realised how much the armour stank; sweat, _blood, _and smoke. He tossed it away. Then hesitating, for a second, took off his mask.

Slade would still find him, and probably wouldn't mind that he'd compromised his identity (that was more Batmans thing). If he did, Dick could say that he had had to remove it, that he was running from the Titans.

Which was true enough.

Really though, he just needed to give his face a break, he needed to breathe properly. Back when he'd been in the Titans he'd worn it a lot, but never for three days straight.

Back when you were in the Titans.

Dick was too tired to correct himself.

He was, he noticed, very tired.

Shivering, chilling to his bones, he was at the end of the bridge, and crossed into the bright city with hunched shoulders. What now? _Wander. Wait. _He tried to catch his breath, when had he lost it?

There was weakness gathering in him, growing up his legs and chest. Dick shook himself. Clenched his fists. _Nothing wrong with you._ No, he'd made it this far, he'd be fine.

Weird to be back in society, Jump felt huge now, probably culture shock. There were people walking past him, voices, cars, he looked at his feet, they seemed far away. Maybe his legs had grown longer.

And it was a little too bright. Dick squinted, but he couldn't focus. And everything was loud, were people shouting? His feet kept moving but without direction. _You'll get used to it. _It was suddenly very important that he sat down, but here, in the street?

_Keep going._

Something screamed. Harsh metal on metal. A car horn? He tried to find it, _it was close_, but everything was spinning and messy. Then he was off his feet, dragged, thrown over, and landed roughly with a weight crushing him. What had happened?

Hands on his throat- _fight back, kill them-_ no, not throat, his collar, they were shaking him, a face in front of his, more shouting, even louder, "-right out in front! Kid! Are you crazy?"

He tried to tell them that he wasn't, that he was fine, that they should let him go, because what would Slade do, but he was sitting down now, and was so tired…

Another voice, "Get off him, look he's shaking! He's in shock-"

"-An ambulance-"

"Is that _blood?_"

That came through clearly, and he wanted to say that it was, that it was Raven's blood, that she'd done nothing but help and how sorry he was, _but you're too weak even for that._

"-is! Call the police-"

"Hey! Look at me! Are you hurt?"

"Can't see anything-"

"-someone-"

And then more, too many. Dick blinked. _Focus._ _You have to. _But he couldn't.

And there was nothing for it, no fight left. This was happening to him too often _you're pathetic too often_; he slipped back and out and away-


	18. Chapter 14

I am in the middle of exam season, as I am sure many of you are. Updates are gonna be patchy I'm afraid. Sorry. This is an early update for this week, not a late one for last week.

Also it's kinda more introspective jargon, I promise you plot next time guys.

Okay, so a couple of other things…

OMG YOU GUYS ROCK. GUESS WHAT? I GOT FANART. THIS IS WONDERFUL. IT MAKES ME SO HAPPY. SO VERY HAPPY. I SHALL POST IT ON MY PAGE, BECAUSE I CANNOT LINK HERE. COSMIC-DARLING YOU BEAUTIFUL HUMAN BEING YOU.

Also YOU GUYS ROCK. Again, all of you, but I'm picking out Lucy in the Sky (gotta know, Beetles or Runaways) who FRICKIN RECOMMENDED ME ON TVTROPES. I'm not showing off- I don't think I deserve it, but since you don't have a proper account and I had to thank you somehow I wanted to mention it here, please don't hate me for being a conceited cow face.

Okay. Other reviewing dudes. I think I emailed those of you with accounts messages, if I didn't I'm so sorry, please send me an angry message about it. Those of you without, here goes:

KlianeLove- that means so much, seriously. Thank you.

- I will write all as soon as I can, I'm glad you like it.

Again if I have missed you out, spam me. I want to know that I have failed you because you dudes are awesome and deserve better.

I'm gonna do another perspective switch chapter and I need a character. I will take suggestions. Anyone in the DCU. BE CREATIVE.

Second last thing. Okay. Guys. So I don't normally ask for reviews. But we're onto 94 here. Six more. Please, if you've been holding off, if you have anything to say, say it. It's been really nice talking to you all and I like knowing that people have opinions on this. Okay, sorry, sorry.

FINALLY come meet me and HannaSedai in the Edinburgh Fringe Festival!

Soooo… story time I guess. Totes don't own the Titans.

- - **********BhknhkjnhkjDDTRFGYUHIJKL;CVBNM,DFGHJK CVBNMCVBN CDVBN DFGHJ

Heavy

Shapes

Pressing-

_Focus. You can see something. Light. Shadows. Your eyes are open then, but they're pretty much useless. _Why-_not something you can answer now. What else? Where are you? Something soft. A mattress. Maybe a bed. Smells clean, no, clinical. Hospital, probably. And voices-_

Yes, he could hear something, distantly, Dick tried to grab hold of the sound and pull himself up by it. But he was tired-

Still, it came through, on and off.

"…Wayne. Should be here soon…"

Bruce. _Batman. He made that clear last time. _Last time? What had happened-

_No. Wait_- Dick jolted- Batman was coming here. That was bad. Why though? He'd done something wrong. _You did something terrible. _It was stuck in the back of his head, if he could reach it- _what is wrong with you?_

He'd have to ask the Titans, have to-

But thinking of them, the tower, seized up his chest, his breaths came in short and cut, his head hurt-

_So think around that then. _

Where had he been?

_Wait. Hospital. Confusion. Dull mind, heavy limbs. You're sedated, almost unconscious. _

Oh. So why was he sedated then? Must have been an accident. Something painful- yes- now that he thought about it he could feel aches up his arms, something stinging, crushed pain in his bones, he was definitely hurt.

_Then why aren't you all the way out?_ He should have been sleeping, there's, what, a 1% chance of someone getting stuck like this when they're drugged? This was deliberate.

The voices above him had grown dimmer, but another, sharper sound slipped over them- a door opening and closing- people leaving. Another click afterwards. _They locked you in. Why would they do that?_

To protect him?

_No._ No. That felt wrong. He felt guilty, he had done something. What had it been?

_Think. Last thing you remember. _

He'd been in his cell, Starfire had brought him food, she'd been-

Cell? The Titans had you in a cell.

Why-

_You'd been caught. Stealing. Shouting down the line to Slade-_

_Slade. The apprenticeship. Zucco and his parents and_

Then-

Raven-

_You stabbed her._

He'd stabbed her.

It all snapped back, the stumbling walk to the city, the blood, he'd almost been hit by a car and then here- _you stabbed her_- what could he- _you might have killed-_

Dick was shaking, no,_ you wish you were shaking, but you can't move, stuck here, turned in on yourself, and you stabbed one of your best friends, it's hurting you, but you can't get away, and you don't deserve to._

He didn't. He deserved, he needed, to suffer.

Even if he had done it for her, for all of them, he'd failed. Batman wouldn't have- he'd have found another way, something better-

You aren't anything.

He wasn't anything.

Dick swimming, trapped somewhere in his head tried to breathe, tried to feel something, but instead all that was there-

A sound, outside of himself. The door. Footsteps, clear, military. A shadow. Someone was here. Focus. He did his best. They moved a little closer, leaning down, examining him. A doctor? Maybe- if he could just see a little more clearly-

No though, Dick recognised that shape. _You should have known straight away._

Of course it was him.

Slade.

Skin crawling, throat closed, fingers distantly itching, pressing into the mattress as hard as he could, as if that was a way out, all of him so weak- if he could move, just an inch, if he could have got up, run-

_- You'd still be stuck here. Remember your friends?_

What was he going to do? Take him back? Would he risk escaping through a hospital? If this even was a hospital.

Anyway, of course he would.

_Calm down. You knew it was coming back to this. It's what you escaped from the Titans for, after all._

But he couldn't, even now, even drugged, even though he knew it would do no good, he was terrified.

More darkness above him, Slade was going to pick him up, they'd leave and he'd be still half conscious.

And this thought managed to stab at him- that he could end up anywhere. No idea where the Titans were, where Jump was, where Batman was, even, and none of them would ever find him. They wouldn't even bother to look.

That was always possible. But it was so, so much worse going into it powerless like this.

_You'll be completely alone. Well- not completely, and at least you can talk to Slade without anyone dying-_

Something cold grasped his arm, hard, though he felt the force and not the pain, shutting down his thoughts as it did, this was it-

There was a sharp, small pain. Then gently spreading warmth, blanketing over him and through him, and washing him away. Along with it Slade saying something; it sounded comforting though he couldn't make out the words. Dreamily Dick decided It didn't matter what happened after all- didn't matter about Batman coming, not even that he'd stabbed Raven, because what was he going to do about it, he was far too tired and far too comfortable…

Nothing.

Then a headache. Sore and grinding and right behind the eyes. Dick groaned, realised that he'd been able to groan, and jumped open his eyes.

For a long moment he worried that he still couldn't see, then the light started, slowly to ebb and he had colours again, then shapes, then the clean comfort of a hospital room. Neat white walls and a door across from him, sharp light. _No window, only one way out. And a camera._ Dick eased himself up, leaning on his palm.

_Your head still hurts, but apart from that everything seems okay_.

That was good.

He thought again about what had happened before- Raven, running, everything- but found that he didn't have the strength to hate himself, he couldn't even want to.

_You aren't sorry any more._

No, he had to-

_You can't even lie to yourself about it._

It wasn't-

_You've given up on them, like they've given up on you._

No, but- Dick sighed and folded his arms round his knees. Later. He'd deal with this later.

_You have to get out of here._

Obviously. Wait though- Dick pushed back- when he'd been drugged- had that been Slade? Here? He'd been so sure but now-

If it had been him then why had he left?

_Maybe he's let you out of the apprenticeship._

No. No getting optimistic. No assuming the best.

But maybe.

_No. You can't doubt Slade. You can't make your own mind up. Too much at stake._

_You have to trust him._

Oh, that irony hurt.

Yeah. So. Plan 1. Get out of here.

Not going to fast, not pushing himself yet, Dick slid over, but before he could get further the door clicked, swinging back.

"Good to see you awake."

Dick looked up, three people stood in the doorway. In front a doctor, behind a policeman, and after him-

Oh.

_Batman._


	19. Apprenticed! Part 5

GUYS. GUYS. 103 REVIEWS. THREE WHOLE FIGURES. AAAAAAAHHHHHHH. THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU.

Seriously, this is the best thing. The best of all the things. THAAAAAANNNNNKKKKKKK YOOOOOOOOOUUUUUU

OOOOKayy this has been a lousy week for updates. Probs not gonna get better till my exams are over, but I'll try. Anyway, I haven't had time to reply to reviews yet, I shall get to it in good time. Hope you like this nonsense.

AND GUYS. YOU. ME. (AND HANNASEDAI SINCE IT'S REALLY HER THING AND I'D FEEL BAD IF I DIDN'T MENTION HER HERE). EDINBURGH FRINGE FESTIVAL. It will be awesome.

Totes don't own the Titans.

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Dick looked numbly at the outfit Slade had handed him. Two colours, black and orange. Metal guards. A new pointed mask.

A 'S' badge where his 'R' should have been.

That, somehow, did it. He _snapped. _

Duck, jump, _over Slade's shoulder, _grabbing for his arm, the controller-

A dull thud hit him, mid-air, and Dick was sprawled on the ground and choking on his breaths.

Above him, examining him, Slade flexed his fingers.

"Was that an attack?"

Dick snorted, pushing himself up, one hand at a time. The pain across his chest was already loosening, and this was not over.

"It _was._" Slade chuckled. "Brave, Dick. Entirely predictable, very stupid, but brave. You should know better."

"I- won't-" he forced his lungs to work, straightened his back, arms at his side, narrowed his eyes, "I won't work for you. I'm not going to wear- that."

"Hm. What did I just do to you, Dick?"

"What?"

"A punch to the gut, I winded you. Nothing serious, but it hurts. No permanent damage."

"Listen to me Slade!"

"Injuries like that can be overcome quickly if you can force them to, and I see that you have. Well done. But the area's still tender. Which means-" too fast to dodge he slapped his fingers against Dick's chest, knocking him off his feet, bringing back a burst of nausea. Slade waited for him to catch his breath, "You should have stood like this." He positioned himself, back bent a little, hands raised across his torso. "You see?"

Still curled on the ground, Dick tried to glare.

Slade crouched beside him, "Protecting your injuries is very important, even if they don't feel like much. Come on now." Leaning out on one hand he pulled Dick to his knees with the other. He tried to shrug him off, crawl away, Slade didn't seem to notice. "Do you understand?"

"I won't-"

"Do you understand?"

He slowly raised his free hand, and there, his thumb on the button, was the controller.

No way to get it, not now. He'd push before he could move an inch. Stuck, Dick gritted his teeth and nodded.

"Answer me."

"I…I understand._ Sir_."

"And what is it important to remember during combat?"

He hated that tone, patronising, babying, _paternal, _could hardly keep himself from tearing at Slade, even knowing that it wouldn't do any good.

"To…" he closed his eyes, it wasn't worth letting him hurt them, "guard your injuries. Whether or not they seem serious."

Slade smiled, standing up and pulling Dick along with him. "Better?"

The pain had gone almost entirely, just a few twinges left when he inhaled. Begrudgingly, without eye contact, he nodded,"…yes sir."

_It already felt a little easier to say._

"Good boy. Now-" Slade stooped and picked up the half and half outfit, folding it so that the 's' badge was back on top. He held it out to Dick, smiling, "back to our schedule."

Chest tight, hands clenched, teeth mashed shut so he wouldn't say something stupid, Dick took it, staring at the Slade symbol. His symbol, till he got out of this.

And he was going to get out of it.

Slade's hand on his shoulder clapped him back to attention. Still smiling, kindly almost, he bent down to Dick's eye level. "I know it seems bad now, but trust me. You'll learn to like it."


	20. Chapter 15

Holy Hera this took a while. Been in the exam ringer, they'll pick up again now. Handed in my last essay today, so now you get a crummy tiny update of pure mind eating angst to make up for the time I took. Seriously, no plot here. Once again, haven't had time to thank reviewers yet. I SHALL GET TO IT.

Totes don't own the Titans.

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It wasn't fear, not even shock. Just a cold grip round his stomach.

Bruce._ Batman. That's how he wants you to think of him. _

What was going to happen now? _What's he going to do to you now?_

The doctor and policeman glanced at Bruce. He nodded, stiffly. "That's him."

"Well then!" said the doctor, filling the silence with far too much enthusiasm, "I'll do a check-up, then Officer-"

"No. I want to speak to him first." Though he'd been trying to avoid Bruce's eyes, he couldn't then. _Nothing there but anger. _

She looked, for a moment, like she might have argued, but Bruce was using his Batman glare and she nodded, backing out of the room. A little more slowly, the policeman followed.

Batman stared at him. Caught, he had no choice but to stare back.

_He knows what you did to Raven. Any doubt he had about you switching sides is gone. _

Dick gritted his teeth. It was true.

Quickly, sweeping over the floor- _the Batman walk too, you can recognise it without his cape- _Bruce stepped up to his bed. He didn't break eye contact.

After a long, painful stare, he finally spoke, voice low in a growl, "_Why?"_

Dick's hands tightened around the sheets. _You can't. Not if you want anything you've done to mean anything. _

"Tell me _why_."

He closed his eyes. It hurt too much to keep Bruce's stare.

After another long silence, he stepped forward again, leaning down. That pressure, his stare, Dick had to glance up at him. He tried to keep a glare. _It wasn't difficult. You're learning to hate him. _

And he straightened, turned away, stopping at the end of the bed. Without looking back again at Dick, Bruce spoke softly, but without faltering. "I've spoken to your…old team. They're going to tell the police what you did. Everything apart from why you were at the Tower, and your…alias. You'll be sent to a young offenders' facility."

_See? _He saw. He felt it too, a heavy hit in his chest, fingers in and ripped out.

Then numbness.

Bruce- _Batman, stop pretending- _was gone and he was empty. He should- no. He wanted to-

It was too much, he was hurt and bruised and this was painful.

He reminded himself to breathe.

At the door, Batman paused. Very quietly, just loud enough for Dick to hear, he said, "She's okay. By the way. Since you didn't ask."

And he left.

And then his last words hit.

_You didn't even ask. _He hadn't even cared.

Raven didn't matter to him.

Even now, he couldn't care, he was too steeped in feeling sorry for himself, in being miserable, to worry about her, why couldn't he care? What was wrong with him?

There was an answer to that. He knew it already.

_You're awful. You're empty. You've got no heart. _

And that means-

_You're just like Slade. _

No-

But there wasn't anything for him to hold onto after that.

How could he not be? By telling himself that he was doing this for them? That had stopped being true the second he'd hurt Raven. _You're obeying him because you're weak. You're pathetic. You're scared, and it's not for them. It's for yourself. Selfish, stupid child. _

And now he was going to prison.

That gnawed him. It wasn't fair. He didn't deserve to. He didn't want to.

But you have to. Because Batman hates you, and the Titans hate you, and they aren't bothering to understand.

And that wasn't fair either. Something new jumped in him. They _should _trust him. They should have known that something was wrong, that this wasn't him, that he wouldn't leave them.

He had a right to be angry. He should be angry.

Slade was right.

No- he caught himself. That was scary, he'd gotten so close to-

But he hadn't.

Dick sighed. It was okay.

It was okay, because he knew that he deserved to be hated, that this was all his fault, that he'd caused it and deserved it.

You can only deserve it if you're happy to hate yourself.

He pulled up his knees. The policeman or the doctor would be in in a second, and then he'd be going to prison. Which he deserved.

Which you don't deserve.

It hurt, all these thoughts just eating each other and strangling him in the middle. There was a pain in his mouth and he realised that he was biting his tongue, that it was bleeding.

You can try this. You can try to hate every piece of yourself until there's nothing left that feels differently.

He would. The only way. He wasn't going to fail the Titans.

But-

You won't. You don't have the strength. You're not even good enough to hate yourself.

The door opened. There was the doctor. There was the policeman. Batman had gone.

Get used to it.


	21. Apprenticed! Part 6

'Kay guys, gonna level with you here. Having a bad time family wise (details on my tumblr) updates are gonna stay shaky. BUT THIS IS NO EXCUSE FOR LEAVING YOU OUT OF THE LOP FOR SO LONG. I'm sorry. Don't hate me. PLEASE.

Totes don't own the Titans.

He didn't look like himself.

No, he _did. _That was the worst part. Slade hadn't given him a full mask, just a pointed domino one. Slade wanted people- wanted the Titans- to recognise him.

His hands tightened.

They would laugh about this later. Him and the Titans. Once it was over.

"Ready?" Slade called in. He sounded so _happy. _Underneath the monotone yes, but it was was enjoying this.

_Of course he was. He'd won. _

Pride was not worth their lives. Dick went to the door, opened it, and stepped out, eyes down, not meeting Slade's.

"Look at me. _Dick."_

Gritting his teeth, he made himself. He had to.

Slade looked down at him, slightly smiling. Eventually, he nodded, saying quietly, "That's my boy."

"I'm not your _'boy'_."

Slade just smiled.

When he was free of this he'd rip his head, tear at his eye, burn him hurt him-

_Later._

Dick breathed. Later. Fine. He could wait.

"Now, follow me." Slade turned sharply and started down another corridor. This place was huge. If he'd been sensible- if Slade's announcement hadn't shocked him so much- he'd have counted the turns, made sure he had a way out. But it was too late now. _You were stupid. Right from the start. That's how this happened. You let it. _

But while he was stuck here, he would try and make the best of it. Find out what he could. "Where are we going?" he tried to sound interested. Tried to hold the anger shakes down and out of his voice.

"To work." Well, that didn't sound ominous.

"What sort of work?"

"I'm glad to see you taking an interest, but I'm not an idiot, Dick. You'll find out when we get there."

So that was that.

It was odd how quickly he'd adapted to being practical about this. He was angry, _burning with it, _but he was in control. Slade was going to let his guard down. And it was important that his head was clear when he did.

It couldn't be much longer.

Slade opened a door onto a dark, steep upward flight of stairs. Bare metal, dirty smelling, probably a fire escape. Which meant-

"Why are we going to the roof?"

"Nicely observed, Dick. Why don't you try to work it out?"

He narrowed his eyes.

_Not worth them. _

"We're travelling by grappling hooks? Across the buildings?"

"So…"

"We're going into the city. For your-" he bit- "_work." _Robbing someone. _It would be fine. Once you're out of this you can pay them back- you can steal the stuff back off Slade. Just imagine the look on his face when you do. _

He managed to smile at his feet.

"Yes. For 'work'" They'd reached the door, Slade leant forward and slammed it open, _he leant forward, and for a second he was off balance-_

Dick launched himself, his elbow, into Slade's back, if he could get it right, hit the small he'd crumble and-

He wasn't there.

Instead he bashed against the door, head first, landed, _it hurt-_

"That was stupid, Dick." Slade was looking down at him, standing to the side, arms crossed. "You were obvious, noisy, clumsy and desperate."

_Too much. _

Side roll, feet lashing, reaching for anything-

Slade's boot came down on his chest, pushing him back, pinning him stuck. He scrabbled at it, didn't help, of course.

"I'm insulted. That was not-"he pushed down a little, not hurting him, just reminding him that he could, "good enough. Next time you try to betray me, do a better job of it. Now. Are you going to do as you're told?"

Betray him? Betray- _Don't bother. No point. Not much choice anyway. _Dick nodded, caught himself, and added, "Yes sir." He'd have to. The more he fought back, the more he'd fail, the more Slade would make him apologise, _the easier it was going to get. _What if it stopped hurting him? What if he accepted-

_No. You're getting out of this. _

He lifted the foot and pulled Dick up, "Good boy. Now, work." the door made a sound like a scream as he heaved it open, and there was Jump sprawled out under the dirty night sky. Slade lowered his voice, sounding _happy _again, "I promise it's going to be very exciting."


	22. Chapter 16

guyguys im back. sorry, family crisis. This has been up for a bit on tumblr, but i couldn't get on here. My account died. HOWEVER. I NOW GIVE IT TO YOU. updates are resuming

totes don't own the titans.

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"You're lucky."

Dick didn't agree.

"With your guardian being who he is, I mean." The lawyer clicked her pen, _nervous, scared of you,_ "He's pushing for you to be tried outside of court. And he's struck some sort of deal with the vict- the girl." _Guarding herself because you're dangerous. Get used to it._

His hands tightened.

"She's not pushing the charges further than assault. You know this could put you in for life? You're very lucky." She sighed, "If you're not going to talk then I'm not going to try to make you. Though you should be interested. I would be. In your situation." Language getting informal. The pen clicks. _She's nervous. _Of course she was, she was in a room with an angry murderous teenager in manacles. An angry murderous teenager who'd attacked a superhero. Who'd injured a superhero. "Chances are that you'll end up in a young offenders facility. Probably the branch at Blackgate. Since you're from Gotham. Of course this all has to be finalised. That's pretty much everything. Unless you have any questions...?" She let that hang in the air for a second, though by then she must have known that he had nothing to say. "In that case..." she reached into her bag, "Mr Wayne asked me to give you this." Very carefully, she pushed an envelope across the table. "It's a letter." _As if you were stupid as well as everything else. _

"If I were you-" she was standing, slipping her bag over her shoulder, stepping away from the table as soon as she could, and seemed a little more confident , a little more certain. "I'd drop the tough act. You're the heir of Bruce Wayne. If this does go to court, you don't want a jury to look at you and see some rich brat. Everyone knows what he's like, and everyone knows that you've been raised with everything you could want. They're going to hate you if you try to lie to them."

And that was a point. He'd grown up as Robin. Bruce Wayne might just be Batman hiding, but before he'd put on the cowl he'd existed. He'd controlled it. _He had a choice. _

"You're sure there's nothing else?"

Dick glanced up at her, not lifting his head, just enough to glare. What did she expect? What did she want? Probably didn't even know. Probably it was her first case, first time face to face with a dangerous criminal. _That's what you are. To her. To everyone. Get used to it. _He was, he realised.

She looked too young to be a proper lawyer. Was Batman hiring rookies now? _Not if it was him sitting here. _

"Normally people like to say something. Since this is the rest of your life we're talking about." And she was trying to be smart now, sarcastic, _funny. _Stupid. Like everyone. Batman and the Titans, all believing that he'd really-

_You have. You did. You stabbed Raven. That wasn't Slade, remember? _He did, of course, the weight in his hand, the dull slap on her stomach, the easy strength he'd done it with, the way she'd been choking-

_For her own protection. Their protection. You shouldn't be here._

The lawyer, swallowed, nodded, and headed back towards the door, turning away from him.

_If not here, then where? After all of this? _Back with Batman?_ Difficult to sidekick someone who'd given up on you. You can't trust him. Not ever again. _The Titans?_ Same thing, only more of them to stab your back and pretend they understand. _Alone? Some apartment or motel in Bludhaven or Metropolis, somewhere new? _You don't have any skills. You've never had a job. All you're good for is jumping across rooftops in pixie boots. Batman didn't even give you a chance of a life. _

He knew what was coming next, he could feel it, but couldn't keep the name out of his head.

_Admit it. _

Slade.

Oh yeah, perfect. He dug his fingernails in across his palm. The man who'd done this to him, destroyed his family, his team, _opened your eyes. _The one who'd threatened him and controlled him, _and fed you and trained you. Never lied to you. Treated you _horribly, mind games and _honesty, brutal but still honesty. _

And he'd never made him sit through a Teen Titan monthly Bad Movie Marathon.

Dick smirked and snorted before instinct kicked in and he bit his tongue. He didn't know why, but that was suddenly very, very funny.

"You want to say something now?" The lawyer- she was still here?- looked at him, eyes narrowed, sharp nails clutching the edge of her bag. _Her bag. Nothing dangerous, guards will have checked. Nothing OBVIOUSLY dangerous. _

What was he thinking of? _Getting out of here. Like you deserve. _Dick swallowed. He did deserve it. He deserved something back after all the knives, falls bullets and puns. _And Batman has stopped sending pay cheques. _

He was almost excited now, almost shaking. _Adrenaline. You do enjoy it. _

And-

_The bag has a strap. _Perfect.

The chair was screwed to the ground, so when he kicked his feet off and leapt his ankles caught the back. No matter, he was down, in front of her, hands on the bag, and then tightening it, tighter, _twisting. _He caught her arms, and pinned her against the wall in direct view of the camera. Clear message. _Hostage. _

Not having a chance to scream she tried now to talk, but could hardly gasp _no air. _Her leg kicked his sohe pulled tighter, she had to learn.

Then, suddenly, What. Was. He. Doing.

He'd taken a hostage, his lawyer hostage! He was strangling a woman with her own bag! He was doing this to get out of here so he could get back to Slade-

_You've already done it. Keep going or fail. You think Batman wouldn't want you back before this? How about now. _

_Face it, you don't want to go to prison. Only one other person wants the same thing. _

Okay, _okay. _He gestured to the door, tugging at her neck, slamming her back against the wall. Not looking at her. _Why bother? You're just confirming what she knows. _

The air was turning sour, catching in his throat. The woman coughed weakly and he shook her a little, _couldn't kill her. _But she was heavy now and then he coughed too, and it hurt.

_Gas. They're knocking you out you idiot. _

Of course they were. And there was the floor under his eye, and he tasted metal as he hit it, hard.

_Of course they were. _


	23. Apprenticed! Part 7

Apprenticed! is drawing to a close...so hooray if you hated it! another one or two...as for the real story...HEH HEH HEH

totes don't own the titans.

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Slade was ahead of him, walking briskly, making neat leaps from roof to roof like they were nothing.

And not even bothering to make sure that he was following, knowing that he couldn't run.

_Don't get angry. Turn it into something useful. Stay close for him and wait till you've got a shot._

Though he couldn't keep his head straight. It was all so...disarming, unsettling, _wrong. _

He didn't know Jump as well as Gotham, but it was still _his_ city, _his _job to protect it. And this was an inch away from going on patrol. If he pretended, if he lost focus, the thought that it wasn't jolted him.

Still, that was easier than thinking about what was happening. About where he was going and what Slade was going to make him do.

The first test came quickly. As they crossed over an alley he heard a scream, and he almost, almost, ran to help.

But-

_Fix your feet in place, _it was too much to keep moving so he pushed all of his energies into staying still, into waiting for the noise to finish, fade out, _die..._

When he looked up, Slade was watching him. "Good boy. That was the right choice. See how quickly you're learning to put yourself before others? Your own friends before Jump?" He patted Dick's shoulder, "Well done."

_Not true. _But it was. It wasn't what Batman would choose, he'd let you go for Gotham. He'd do what was right.

He didn't move, standing still, not letting him go. _You know what he expects. _Still tasted bitter though. He narrowed his eyes and spat, "Thanks. _Sir."_

But Dick, despite knowing that, followed Slade on, crossing to another roof, then another as they made their way into the centre of town.

Was it normally so cold up here? He was dizzy, dull, shaking and uncomfortable in his- _Slade's- _new uniform.

"Have you guessed what we're doing yet, Robin?" He'd spoken quickly and sharply, and casually, and none of that helped the surreal feeling settling down on Dick.

"I wasn't thinking about it." He hadn't been.

Slade spun round, facing him, eye narrow. "Not acceptable. I won't have you acting robotically, I won't have you not thinking. You understand? You're my apprentice, not my slave. _You're going to learn_."

That shocked him. Dick stepped back, "Yes- I'm- I'm sorry-" _You just apologised to Slade! _He hadn't even asked him to. "...sir."

"Good. So what do you think we're going to do?" He spoke slowly, like a teacher, Dick held off scowling.

"I don't know... a robbery."

Slade moved to the roof edge, crouching, swinging the bag off his shoulder, "Go on."

"We're in the financial district, so I'm guessing...we're looking for information. Something corporate."

"Good work. But wrong. Come here, Robin."

He did, standing as far away as he dared. Slade was still fiddling inside the bag.

"Most of the work you've seen me doing in Jump has been theft. Technology, generally. But I'm not a thief." He looked up, "I'm a mercenary. Normally, specifically, an assassin."

_That meant- _

Slade reached into the bag, and carefully, neatly, took out a gun.

He smiled at Dick. "Welcome to the business."


	24. Chapter 17 real

NEEEWWWWW CHAPTER

like I said, life is busy, writing is slow. Hope you like this nonsense, totes don't own the Titans!

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Sick, dry pounding in the back of his head. Something stuck in the pit of his stomach. Dryness in his throat. Drugging hurt.

Dick sat up, feeling the ache spread down his neck and through his bones. _Drugging really hurt. _

Not that this was the first time it had happened to him.

_Another perk of working with Batman. _

And now he was back in his cell. His cell. _There was a surreal thought._ Lying on the hard mattress, shivering a little. Bitter. Confused. _Angry_.

Yes, he shouldn't have attacked the lawyer. That had been stupid. It hadn't gotten him anywhere. _Though it had felt good to be in control for a few seconds. _

He felt tangled. Too much in his head. Too many little trails of blame and pain and stupid self pity.

Dick closed his eyes. The effect of so much sitting by himself in blank walled rooms.

How did people cope with this?

An even more surreal thought: this was what it had been like for every person he'd caught. Probably healthy to see the other side of the coin. Heh. He had something in common with Two Face. And the Joker. Peguin, Catwoman-

And the name jumped in there-

-_Zucco_.

No. He wasn't going to go that way. If anything it was Zucco's fault. Wrong again- _Batman's fault for not letting you kill him. If you had- _

It might have gone differently.

He wouldn't be as angry.

If he could have killed Zucco- if he'd ended it then- if it could just have been over- instead-

Looking for justice because he couldn't have revenge.

The damage was done. Though-

_If you had the chance to kill Zucco now, I wonder what you'd do. _

Dick felt himself smile. If he had Zucco here now. _What wouldn't you do?_

And the crazy thing was that it wouldn't make any difference. He could do whatever he wanted now- no Batman judging, no Titans to lead.

That thought hurt.

_No it doesn't. _

Batman had left him. They'd given up on him.

_At least Slade has a use for you._

If that was even true anymore. Where was he? _He was coming. _

Dick's fists clenched. He realised, suddenly, that he _believed _that. Why? Slade was a villain! Not an inch of good in him. But-

_He's honest about what he wants. He doesn't pretend to be anything more than he is. He knows that you're the same as him. And he doesn't think that you belong in here. _

So that was it then. Stupid- more than stupid- but he couldn't stop thinking that Slade would get him out of this.

That was unsettling.

_And a little uplifting. _

For now, to pass the time, he tried moving a little, flexing his arms, twisting his neck. The drug was wearing off. He was lighter. When he felt stronger, he looked around the rest of the room, not standing yet, not wanting to risk his legs crumbling.

Something was lying on the floor by his bed. An envelope.

They'd left him the letter.

Dick looked at it for a while.

Should he open it? Did he want to?

He didn't need to hear anything more from Batman. What else was he going to say? 'You're a superstitious cowardly lot'?

Unless...

What if it was something else? What if he knew about Slade? What if-

_Then he knew and he still left you here. He still didn't trust you. He still needed proof. Whatever is in that envelope, it won't make up for what he's put you through._

_You had to stab one of your best friends. And he believed that you'd done it willingly. _

But he deserved the chance.

He had to.

_You deserved the chance too. _

He was caught. He was stuck. He ought to open it but- _why bother setting yourself up for more betrayal? _

No, he couldn't just leave it-

The door clanged open, and there were two guards. Both armed. Both wearing armour. Masks too. _They know how dangerous you are then. _

"Stand up." Dick closed his eyes. No chance to read the letter now. Decision made for him. _What_ _a_ _relief_.

He glowered, but did what they asked. No point in fighting.

"Hands out." He stuck them out, and one of the men moved forward and cuffed him. Carefully, and-

Dick started.

The guard had pushed something into his hand. He clenched his fingers round it. Something small and hard. Maybe circular.

He tried not to react, watching the guard instead, but as he was bustled out three more appeared, all identically dressed, and he lost the original.

_What was going on?_

They hurried down the corridor, out another locked door, past a desk. Into a garage complete with waiting van. He still hadn't tracked down the one who'd cuffed him.

Dick was shoved up and into the van, two guards along with him. Fantastic. No chance to see what he'd been given yet. The doors closed, then snapped locked. The engine started. _If he could just have asked where they were going._

They probably wouldn't say.

When the van started moving it jerking, reminding him how sick he felt. One of the guards snorted, "You look like you're going to throw up, kid."

"If he does he can clean it up himself." The second one sounded older, no more friendly.

But it gave him a thought...

Dick groaned and shook his head, bringing his hands up to cup it, opening his palms as he did, looking into them and-

He wasn't surprised.

"You smiling now kid?" Guard number one snorted again, "Better get it out of your system. There won't be much opportunity for it later."

Dick caught himself and swallowed, shook his head, turned his face back to grim

He didn't mean it though.

Was he happy just now? He shouldn't have been. _Though what's the point in stopping yourself? __Not like you've got anything else._

_Anyone else._

In his hand was a metal coin. Maybe a tracker. Maybe not.

What mattered- what he'd noticed- was what was carved on the surface.

A jagged, angular, familiar 'S'.


	25. Apprenticed! Part 8

WOO! LAST APPRENTICED! WOO!

Anyhoo, sorry for the absence, been working. This is a high pressure, short time slot type of job, so once it's done I should be back again.

As this is the last Apprenticed, I sure would appreciate some overall feedback on them. As in how much they wasted your time.

Be warned, I kinda amped up the melodrama here. Sorry for the corny.

Totes don't own the Titans.

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"You look shocked."

"No."

"No? Good, now-"

"_No."_ Barely a whisper but it was loud enough, and Slade understood.

"No." He sighed, but didn't stand, still working at the gun. "Dick. You know exactly how this little effort's going to end. So-"

"Nobody was going to die before!" he'd found his voice. Hearing it made him stronger. "You aren't going to kill him. You aren't even going to try."

Slade still hadn't looked up. Why hadn't he looked up? He though Dick didn't mean it? He thought he was going to back down? No chance.

"Do I need-", he screwed on the silencer, "to mention the Titans?"

He hadn't forgotten them, he'd not been thinking, but he hadn't forgotten. Dick swallowed. But he was being strong. Not picturing them- Starfire, Raven, Beast Boy Cyborg, _your friends- _, not imagining them in pain, not thinking how they'd be dying from the inside out, not remembering that it would be as much his fault as Slade's, not- he stopped there, breathing slow and measured, and made himself say what he knew. Ignore what he felt.

"They wouldn't want this. Not even-" not, not, not, "Not even if it would kill them."

And as he said it, he _knew _it. They wouldn't. They were better than that.

Slade took a while in replying, and when he did, it was just a distracted, "Really." Still not looking, still working at the gun, still-

_Ignoring you._

Dick growled, fists balled, _jumped- _he landed on Slade's other side and kicked at the gun, managed to hit it, knock it sideways, _flip back, _land, crouched. Eyes on Slade. "This is over. _Slade." _Felt good to use that name again. He'd made him call him 'sir'. Had he imagined that? It was unbelievable.

And now he looked up. Finally. That felt good too. Back to normal. Except-

Dick looked down at himself, saw the suit, the armour, the black and orange, that 'S'.

"You're going-" Slade stood, voice dangerous and low, "to wish you hadn't done that."

It was too good a moment to waste. He reached up a hand and ripped off the 'S', throwing it across the roof. "I just wish I'd done it sooner." Dick could feel himself grinning. _Right_ _again_.

Slade tensed, slightly, looked at it, then at him. When he spoke there was something new in his voice, _he was angry. _

Dick smiled. He'd made Slade angry.

Which meant that now was the right time to get in the first blow. Dick charged, ducked, kicked at his legs- if he could unbalance him then-

Slade moved faster, to the side, spinning, crouching, _punching- _Dick was hit, he crashed onto the roof, grated his shoulder, bounced back to his feet.

And Slade was already up again, looking at him. He'd regained his composure. "There's a problem with your argument. About the Titans and their... self sacrifice." He was laughing at them.

_Don't let him talk. _Dick jumped, kicked, hit his chest, sent him flying, but he landed on his feet. "Something you're ignoring." He was still speaking!

"Shut- UP!" he punched at him, hitting the mask, which hurt through the armour but must have jerked Slade's neck too, because he grunted, catching himself before he fell- _but it was still a hit. _So he punched again, but Slade was faster, grabbed his arm, pulled it, twisted-

"You're right about them. They would let themselves die."

He let go, throwing Dick away. But he'd expected that, spun when he landed, jumped right back in, ready to kick-

Slade moved aside and he landed, not neatly. "You know why?" Dick wasn't going to rise to that. He would be told anyway. "Because deep down inside-" he looked at Dick, and stepped towards him. Slowly. "they believe that they'd be doing the right thing. They think there is a right thing. You and me, we know better."

"I'm not like you!" He couldn't help it. That idea-

"And-" back to ignoring him now then, "as I said before, this isn't about them. Not at all."

Dick glared and launched himself at Slade, hitting his chest, knocking them both off balance, but Slade found it again, and grabbed him, threw him again.

This time hard.

This time towards the roof edge.

And over-

It was too fast. _Falling always was, you know that. You've seen that_. He felt the air, the panic, the too-late adrenaline telling him to scrabble, turning, reaching, ground wheeling into sky, _not wanting to die not wanting to die-_ then-

A jerk. Painful, all his bones shaking but _he'd been caught-_

Slade was looking down at him. A hand round his collar. Dick saw clearly and-

He'd only fallen a foot over the edge. That was nothing. Just panic. He'd gone weak, felt weak looking down, but he'd only fallen a foot. He'd lost control after a foot. _Pathetic_.

"Dick." Slade was watching him, "Did you enjoy that?"

He glowered. "I'm fine-" he tried to grab his wrist, climb back up, but Slade shook him gently, just enough to tell him what would happen if he tried.

"This is what it's about. You. You're no hero. Look at you. You're shaking. Dick..." he lowered his voice, "this is how scared you are of dying."

"I'm not- "

Slade's grip loosened, he stopped talking.

_Like a switch. _

"I'm offering you a choice. Either you can be a 'hero', and ask for me to let go."

"I can't!-"

"Or. You can ask me to pull you back, knowing that you're trading yourself for that man. Knowing that when you do as I ask, it's not for the Titans. It's for you. Because _you _don't want them to die. Because you're selfish, so your people matter more than everyone else's. It's an easy choice." He chuckled, "I'll even let you pretend that it's because you living is the 'greater good'. Or whatever you call it."

He didn't even last a minute. It was the slack hanging in his legs, he thought. Too much nothing. He couldn't. If it was any other way, if it wasn't falling-

But it was.

_And it probably didn't matter. You're a coward either way._

"I..." he shuddered, wind under his feet, nothing to catch him, he couldn't look at Slade, "I want you to...save me."

"Dick...I told you to _ask."_

"Please..."

"And?"

_It's not the ground it's the journey-_

"...sir."

_Back again._

"Almost. Now. All together. And looking at me."

He was going to throw up. As soon as he was back on land- he tried to talk without thinking, pushed his head up, met Slade's eye, didn't have the energy to scowl. _All in one, don't taste them, _"Please sir. Save me." _Done. _

And Slade had pulled him back, put him down. Dick, shaking, fell onto his knees, head bowed, vomited. He'd almost, almost-

Slade crouched next to him, hand on his back. "Good boy. That was very difficult. You did well." And he was up again, picking up the gun, walking back to Dick, setting it up, peering down the sight. "We're right on time. There he is." He smiled at him, and Dick looked up, bleary. They were right on time. So Slade had expected- _known- _that he would do that. He'd timed it. He'd-

A soft sound, like a pop. Quiet but explosive.

Slade had fired.

Across the street broken glass was falling, and someone screamed.

Slade had hit.

More shaking, cold round his stomach, aches in his head and his hands, he couldn't see, _you failed. Completely. You didn't even try. _

Somewhere in it, someone helping him up and leading him away, back over the roof tops. Back to the base. The Tower far off.

It wasn't even close to morning.


	26. Chapter 18

Remember that chapter I did a while ago with Wonder Woman narrating? I did another one. Not with her though. Just felt like there needed to be a bit of exposition in terms of the Gotham Prison system, and this seemed like a fun way to do it.

I promise I'll do a real chapter next time : )

They don't appear, but I still don't own the Titans. Or DC.

/lkclkwjckjkwjckjknknjkj

"No- No- He's totally dead like-"

"Pass it."

"I'm talking!"

"_Pass it!"_

Jason grunted, flicking the cigarette across the room. "Smoke it all and I'll beat you into the wall."

"I'm shaking." Catching it, Ben clamped it between his teeth and spoke through them. "What was it about the bird boy being dead?"

"Now you want to hear." He shrugged up his thin coat, tucked down his chin. The garage kept out a little rain and no cold, but they were Gotham-mites. They didn't complain. And it was better than being home. "But okay- so that Wayne kid stabbed the creepy Titan chick."

Ben cut in, "Raven."

"You're still into that?" snorting, Jason took the cigarette, inhaled, then passed it back. "You did hear what she did to that Light guy, right? You want to end up brain dead? And then there's the other one-"

"Starfire-"

"Anything in a cape. Like to get beaten up?"

"Shut up."

"Maybe you'll get lucky next time we're jacking a car."

"Just get on with it before I get bored." His voice was a little lower, so Jason shrugged and dropped it. Ben was two years older and double as tall- the most criminal twelve year old this side of the city (according to the GCPD's record system). It wasn't worth losing a fight with him.

"Fine. So the Wayne kid broke into the tower."

"Yeah 'cos he's _stressed _with being rich."

"Pfft. Rich jerks. D'you hear he's getting sent to juvie?"

"After stabbing a Titan? Who do you think Wayne bought? Ha- Maybe the Justice League! Juvie." Ben shook his head, faking disapproval, "Dunno what the city's coming to."

"Not even-" Jason grinned, "the old one. You know that 'rehabilitation' centre they're building at Blackgate? The one that has-" he smirked, "social workers?"

"I say send him to Arkham- that's where they normally put the cape killers."

"_Supposedly_ failed cape killer. But right, so, next thing, she's in the hospital and Robin stops showing up. So I'm thinking-" he dragged, passing it back. "he's dead."

Ben considered it, shuffling back against the wall. "Like the Wayne kid killed him?"

"Yeah."

"What, so he killed Batman's sidekick? The one who beats up Two Face? Seriously- the skinny little pet orphan murders him?"

"Might have had some sort of special gun. Maybe Wayne even sent him. Wouldn't surprise me if he's funding the gangs."

"You're a nut." Ben sniggered, "Maybe it was aliens."

Jason shrugged again. So Ben didn't believe him. Everyone knew how dumb he was. "All I'm saying is that it's weird."

"Not that weird. Didn't Robin disappear few months ago anyway?"

Jason grumbled, "No. That was when they all stopped doing interviews."

"So you mean that they all disappeared?"

"Shut up."

Snorting, Ben stubbed the centimetre of left over cigarette out on the ground. "Heroes. They're all just creeps in tights. If the Wayne kid did kill one of them, then I say well done."

"I dunno." Jason dug his nails into the crumbling wall behind him, "I like Batman. You see the time he like grabbed that guy and smashed his face with his ears?"

"Which time?"

"I just mean that it's cool."

"So put on some tights and jump off something."

"I'm just saying."


End file.
